A
female
age
41-50,
*lowloris
writes:I want to break up with my boyfriend of two years. He is a very sweet, but dull person. Sounds harsh, but there's no spark there. I can't chat with him like with my friends. I don't love him or fancy him anymore. I really want to be single because I never have been before, and had a really bad break up with my last ex (5 year relationship, engaged, he cheated on me with a close friend, then I went staight into this relationship. it took me a year to get over him.) He is a touchy and sulks (but doesn't stop me) when I go out without him. As such he is impossible to talk to about relationships, takes everything the wrong way. I feel very awkward around him. Basically, I'm saying that things aren't right, never have been and as far as I can see, never will be. So I have to finish it. But how? He also keeps planning big things, like holidays and trips out and gig tickets and festival tickets, months in advance (and I'm sure he partly does this so I have ties to him. He said on my birthday, in early January, that now I had to be nice to him for at least three months, as he'd bought me loads of tickets as presents up until March.) I know he's scared of losing me and loves me very much. Any advice on how to break it to him gently? I also work with him and live on the same street - we are practically neighbours. So its going to be really complicated.
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 ok well a letter is no way to do it....we are all grown ups here, and a letter will only hurt him more, you have to do this face to face, and he deserves that after so many years. sit him down and talk to him, explain that you do deeply care for him, and have enjoyed the last 2yrs that you have spent together, but that you would like to be single, and be by yourself right now. you need to do it sooner or later, or else you will both just end up resenting each other. the gifts are just an excuse for you to prolong the boredom. its not fair on either of you. you need to tell him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): Sadly honey there’s not such thing as breaking up gently as by the sounds of it he will take it badly no matter what way you do it!! I agree with the other posts here too – you can’t write him a letter and expect him to accept that as I’m sure he will want to say a few things to you too. It sounds like he knows there is something wrong and that by saying he has bought all these gifts/presents for you he is trying to buy back your affection. Slowly start moving things out or to your parents place. Then sit him down and explain that even tho you still care about him, you don’t love him and that you need some time on your own to think things out in your own head. The longer you put this off the harder it will be to tell him – take it from some one who knows ? Best of luck with it all x
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A
male
reader, HurtHeart  +, writes (30 January 2008):
Firstly, I would start by moving your things out of his house, if you haven't already. Then I would limit the amount of time you're spending with him. In a week or so, depending, he'll realize something is up, then tell him. He's a big boy, he'll get over you. Just let him know that the spark isn't there for you and you can't continue to force yourself to be with him.
Frankly, he sounds like he's blackmailing you in to staying with him, but don't let that sidetrack you. It's best you move on post-haste.
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A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Ignore the last poster, no-one deserves to be "dumped" by a letter, we aren't 11 years old here.
The only thing I personally can think of is the one that you probably don't want to hear and know yourself is the right thing to do. You just have to tell him. If it's enough reason for you to no longer want to be with him, you have to tell him this and get it over and done with. It's not fair on yourself, or him to keep putting it off.
You need to stop using the gifts as an excuse to put off breaking it up, at the end of the day you can keep the ticket or he can have them back, surely which it is, is less important than doing what you have to?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): After two years he deserves to hear the bad news from you in person... I'd suggest meeting up with him (but don't make plans to do anything), and as soon as you see him break out the old "we have to talk". He'll probably have an idea it's coming... but let him down gently. Don't tell him everything he did wrong, or everything you don't like about him. Just tell him that you still care about him, but it's not working, and more importantly, you need to experience single life for awhile. Tell him you'd like to remain friends, but that you're going to need space for awhile.
I hope everything works out! Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 January 2008):
You can write him a letter saying that he is such a good guy and that you are not worthy of his love.You can thank him for all those good times together .
You can Google ," Breakup letter."
There are two breakup letter generators. You can explore there...
Or this interesting site;-
http://www.romanceforeveryone.com/article/how-to-write-a-dear-john-letter.html
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