A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend asked me to masturbate in front of him, but I've never masturbated before. I started to rub myself but I had to stop as I was overcome with guilt. He wants me to try again but I'm worried that I will start to feel guilty again. He says it's perfectly natural for women to masturbate, should I try and overcome my guilt? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 December 2009):
 Double M said it. One thing though, I don't think there is anything for you to feel guilty about. Masturbate away, in private if that works for you, or not. Whatever makes you happy.And yes it is perfectly normal to do. BUT lots of girls are raised with the notion that it is wrong and dirty.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 December 2009):
 I'm with Double M.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 December 2009):
 Do not do anything that your are not comfortable doing, and if he keeps pushing it, drop him. However, you should not consider masturbation in your privacy to be unnatural or wrong. It is an excellent and the safest way to explore your sexuality. Still, if that makes you feel uncomfortable, then don't do that either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): If you want to overcome feelings you have then I would suggest you do so in private and perhaps explore how you can masturbate in a relaxed setting on your own to discover things at a pace that you are happy with - if indeed you want to - some people never masturbate and that is ok. The pressure of 'performing' in front of your boyfriend is not helping matters. You should not be forced into feeling this way - he is hardly helping your feelings of guilt! Now you feeling guilty for feeling guilty!!! Tell him you would like time to develop your confidence in private around masturbating and that you would rather not do it in front of him at this time. If he carries on pressurising you then I would consider finding someone who respects your feelings rather than tells you that you are wrong. You own your feelings - they don't belong to anyone else.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (11 December 2009):
are you feeling uncomfortable because you think it's wrong or because you don't like doing 'dirty things' in front of other people, body issues, or what. maybe you could ask him to masturbate himself at the same time so it doesn't feel like you're at centerstage.
While your boyfriends right in that there shouldn't really be shame or guilt mixed into masturbating if you feel uncomfortable doing something sexual for your boyfriend, don't do it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): First of all, you should only do what you are comfortable doing. You shouldn't feel as if you have to masturbate in front of your boyfriend simply because he wants you to. If he loves you, he will respect your wishes. Anyways, with respect to your guilt about masturbating, there is nothing wrong with it. Now, I am a guy, so you may think it doesn't mean anything come from me. It does indeed seem to be the case that society is more comfortable with men masturbating on a regular basis, as we are supposedly sex addicts. However, a number of studies have proven that many women masturbate on a regular basis as well. Although it is not quite as high of a percentage, it is still very high. The fact of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with masturbating, it is simply a part of life. Perhaps you should try masturbating a little bit on your own before you attempt it in front of your boyfriend again, if you still feel as if you want to try to go through with it. Alternatively, you tell him you would rather do something for him instead, such as give him a hand job, if that wouldn't make you feel guilty. I presume something of that nature would make his mind wander.
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