A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My crush asked me out as a joke and I said yes. I was sick the day after and I wasn’t at school. My friends texted me about it. Apparently he had told most of my friends. Now I have to go back to school. I don’t really like him a lot. I just wouldn’t mind dating him. Now I hate him but I don’t what to do about my frien. Do I lie? Help please :(
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 December 2018):
 Just say you assumed he was joking and acted accordingly. Be very matter of fact. Do not keep defending yourself or explaining, it will look suspicious.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2018): The way I look at it, HE’s the one who should feel ashamed. He’s the one who did something wrong—at worst he intentionally hurt someone, at best his insensitivity with an old “joke” hurt someone (Even as a joke, it’s not a good joke, he’s playing with peoples’ emotions). I know it’s hard to see it that way, but really try to remember this. HE did something wrong and he’s still doing something wrong if he’s telling everyone (which means it WAS intentional) he has no honor as an individual human being. You did nothing wrong, you were honest and sincere. And guess what. You might have said yes to the man you thought he was, kind, honest, and with honor. But he ruined his reputation with you, so you go back there and say, yeah I thought I would have dated him, but now I see he’s not a good person, so NO. I would not ever date him. And as the others said, hold your head high and be confident that you have standards and values. You don’t need those who are less than you to demean you and make you feel bad. Find better people to be friends with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2018): He's an idiot. Don't lie to your friends. Most of the time when people make a joke like that they do secretly fancy the person and are just trying to cover it up by pretending its a joke. If your friends ask say yeah he asked me but he's clearly a jerk and very immature so it's a good job I don't fancy him back. If he asked again I would say no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2018): He's just a dumb kid. He probably got teased about liking you; so he said asking you out was a joke. If you cancelled the date, because you got sick; maybe he got embarrassed, and thought you stood him up. So in anger, he told everybody it was just a joke anyway. If you cancelled last-minute, after he told his buddies he asked you out; they probably laughed at him!
You're both only 13; so there is always going to be something for the other kids to find to laugh about, or use to embarrass you. In this case, he's the one who looks like a total jerk in-front of everybody. Just remember, you didn't really like him in the first place. Did you tell any of your friends that, so it could get back to him?
I think you're both kind of equal. He claims asking you out was a joke; and you said yes, when you didn't really like him all that much anyway. So I guess you both were not being honest with each other.
It's no big disaster anyway. How long do you think a group of 13 year-olds are going to care about your business? They have to keep-up with all the latest gossip happening around school; and your little date-issue will just get buried-under and forgotten in less than a week!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 October 2018):
 Yep the ladies are right, you didn't DO anything wrong in saying yes.
You just got lucky you got sick.
What do you do when you get back to school? HOLD your head up high and IGNORE the idiot. If your friends ask.. just say, HEY we all make mistakes, mine was saying yes to a date with a LOSER. Then DON'T discuss it further. If they ask more about it, just say you are SO over him and the topic.
As for him, ignore. Simply pretend he doesn't exist.
Let HIM be the one holding the stick...
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (18 October 2018):
 "What an idiot; he believed me. Like I'd go out with someone so immature." Other than that, don't comment. Don't bitch about him, don't talk to him, just let it go and others will too.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (18 October 2018):
 Two can play at this game. If he said that he was joking, your say the same thing. Laugh it off when people ask you about him and say, "did you guys really think I was serious? How silly! Did you really think I would say yes to him and mean it?"That'll teach him!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (18 October 2018):
 This says nothing about YOU and EVERYTHING about HIM. HE is a nasty immature little boy, who gets his kicks out of humiliating people.
Honestly? In your shoes I would laugh it off. Just shrug and say, "You can't win them all" and then say "Glad I didn't actually win THAT one." Not much of a prize, is he? People will remember his behaviour and, when he actually asks a girl out for real, they will turn him down because they will remember this and worry he is doing it to them. Then you can sit back and smile. Karma.
Your real friends will rally round and support you. Those that don't perhaps need to be consigned to the "ex friends" bin.
Hold your head high. You have done nothing wrong. This will be a 2 minute joke and everyone will be talking about something else soon enough. Be glad you found out what a little jerk this lad is.
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