A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now and he has never been as sexually driven as me. I know more often than not men want sex more, however I like sex daily or at least 4-5 times a week. Whereas he like it about 1 time a week. We are both young I'm 22 he is 24. He has always been this way. I have more sexual experience and seem to be more adventureous too. He tries to but he says he's too tired, or doesn't feel well. What can I do? I have tried giving him bj's, dressing up sexy and he still turns me down sometimes. When we have sex it's fantastic and he seems to enjoy himself but I want to compromise and try for 3 times a week or so.I've thought it may have been his catholic upbringing which sometimes contributes to sexual malfunction.Any ideas on whats going on? How to fix it?
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you confusedinkent that helped alot... :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): I think I wrote this!!
My hubby is the same, I should say was the same we have spoken about it many, many, many times and he didnt seem to understand how upset I was over it.
But I persisted and he eventually saw things from my point of view and now we have sex more and he seems to be open to try new things. I think most of the time in these situations, the man may be emmbarrased about sex in general I know that was the case with my hubby.
But I spoke to him and explained that he doenst need to be embbarrased about sex with me.
I think the best thing to do is really open up about this and make sure that your partner understands how you feel, I mean REALLY feel about this.
And try to talk about what his likes and dilikes are then at least you can say that you really tried.
Despite how you feel I'm sure your partner doesnt want you to feel rejected and I know my hubby did want to have sex more often but he was just holding back for some reason, that was when I realised that he was shy and emmbarrsed about sex.
ok good luck, and try not too worry about feeling rejected its very normal to feel that, but if you speak to your partner I'm sure he will realise in time that its an important part of a relationship to you.
good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i can't help the feeling of rejection though. I am apt to less sex... I already have a lot less sex than i want to... he said it would make him uncomfortable if i got a vibrator or dildo, he said they are immasculating... I dont want to keep it from him if i buy one.
Sometimes his excuses arent very reasonable... he is willing to go out and have a good time dancing, hiking or whatever... but if i mention sex he's suddenly got a headache or something
...............................
A
male
reader, soulmasseur +, writes (28 October 2006):
Be realistic. Maybe it's his upbringing, but you should be aware of the fact that sex drive is determined by many factors: body state, mental preparation, pervious sexual experience and your behavoir, to name a few. But if he gives you "reasonable" excuses to refuse sex, do not press him against the wall at all to make it out because this will develope a sense of resentment on his side. And may be you need more, but less sex will not hurt. You can also try some medicine, esp. herbal medications. Counsel your doctor and he will tell you about them.
Good Luck
...............................
|
