A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a couple of years now. Most of our relationship is okay but one thing that bugs me is when we go out together, and we bump into women or other friends he knew form his single days he conveniently "forgets" to introduce me. It's very awkward for me because I stand there like an idiot, while he makes small talk about what he's been up to lately, how work is going, how his family is doing, meanwhile they keep giving me this puzzled look -- I'm sure they're wondering who I am, a friend?....a neighbor?....a relative? The first couple of times it happened, I made light of it but did mention that it kind of bothered me, becuase it's a matter of respect. He's well educated and has good manners in other ways, so it's not like he was raised in a cave. Yet he still does it! He'll introduce me to co-workers and casual aquaintances, but when it comes to old girlfriends, old female buddies, or other friends from his single days, it's like he doesn't really want them to know he's "with" someone. And sure, I could just introduce myself but that is so lame and pathetic. Why can't he just do the right thing? I introduce him to people in my past and present, I don't understand why he likes to be so selective and pretend like I'm not really there. One time, he actually started walking ahead of me while he was talking to one of his former females friends, like he was trying to deliberately act like we weren't really together. What should I make of this strange behavior???
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Can I just do something which MAY be in his defence. BUt is also my EXCUSE!!
I CANNOT remember names, I am perfectly dreadful at it!! But I also confide in my friends of this fact. So when I appear ignorant and clumsy at social introductions and don't do it THEY or my hubby know that it is not deliberate. They very calmly extend their hand to shake hands and say something along the lines of "well, my name is ****,I don't suppose this one will introduce us!! And your name is...?"
This has got me out of a ruck SO MANY times it is untrue!!
It could be he is rubbish with names as well. Question him about this in case he is or he is embarrassed. If its not that you are gonna need to train him to get more socially adept!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I don't see how you going up to them yourself and introducing yourself as his "girlfriend" and saying toforgive your boyfriend for his lack of manners is lame and pathetic!!! He would surely see how lame and pathetic he is then!!
My boyf done it once or twice and I just introduced myself to them and he hasn't done it since! I mean your together a few years now so its not as if its all new to you both...
If it was me I would def go up and introduce myself to them - what harm can it do??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I would ask him outright, after the event, why he doesn't introduce you. I suspect he is a bit awkward. Some people do get like this especially if it is one of their exs. My bloke has never introduced me to his two ex wives. I have stood there like a damp piece of lettuce, but i made sure he knew about it after the event! Let him know how you feel. Do you introduce him to yours?
Take care and have a good christmas.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I would ask him outright, after the event, why he doesn't introduce you. I suspect he is a bit awkward. Some people do get like this especially if it is one of their exs. My bloke has never introduced me to his two ex wives. I have stood there like a damp piece of lettuce, but i made sure he knew about it after the event! Let him know how you feel. Do you introduce him to yours?
Take care and have a good christmas.
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I don't think it's intentional. It always seems like there's only a short time-span to introduce someone, and if you miss the chance, then it's just weird. I don't know why, it just is.
Although I'm gay, my boyfriend does the same thing---and what worked was I introduced myself a couple times. Made him feel like an ass, and since, it hasn't really happened.
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A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 i think a possibility is he just feels shy and awkward... "well educated and good manners"... these people are more likely to be shy.. sad as it may be... i have done the same thing... i just couldn't say "hey meet my girlfriend blah blah blah"... when i ran it through my head i just felt really stupid... so i dindt say anything... iono.. consider this possibility though. it's probably nothing personal
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A
female
reader, Dani :) +, writes (21 December 2006):
Have you asked why he never introduces you?
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