| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I feel like a really bad person but here goes.I've been sort of seeing this guy for about 6 months. It's nothing official, just a casual thing. For my birthday back in August he got me a very nice present and it was a complete surprise and unexpected.Now that Christmas has rolled around I've found myself expecting him to buy me something (I bought him a present). I'm about 99.999999999% sure he didn't get me anything and that is perfectly acceptable since we're not really a couple, but I can't shake these expectations from my head. I always think that everytime a package is delivered to my house, it's from him.How can I stop being so crazy and selfish??
View related questions:
christmas Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): The best way to go about it is to expect nothing, then you are not disappointed. I know we all what and wish from something from our loved ones, family and friends, but hey ho if they don't buy us something is the world going to stop??
Just be grateful for being alive and well and having the freedom to be able to walk around. Think of all the poor people in the poorer countries who possibley cannot afford to feed their kids and get enough warmth. Those who are held captive, prisoners in their own home. Even those battered and beaten by loved one. Take out the pluses in life. Be grateful all the time for the things that you have.
Give him his present in all the best spirit of the season.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): The best way to go about it is to expect nothing, then you are not disappointed. I know we all what and wish from something from our loved ones, family and friends, but hey ho if they don't buy us something is the world going to stop??
Just be grateful for being alive and well and having the freedom to be able to walk around. Think of all the poor people in the poorer countries who possibley cannot afford to feed their kids and get enough warmth. Those who are held captive, prisoners in their own home. Even those battered and beaten by loved one. Take out the pluses in life. Be grateful all the time for the things that you have.
Give him his present in all the best spirit of the season.
Take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Martini, I identify a lot with what you say and female reader age 30-35 I don't think you are being selfish. You are mixing up the idea of a gift being materialistic whereas in reality, as Martini states, you are hoping for a sign of being thought of, which is where "it is the thought that counts" comes from. I think I have also made my partner grasp why I have balked at being asked what I wanted for so long. An ongoing argument of him not knowing what to get me. I explained that for me, the excitement os not knowing what is in the parcel, be it a mars bar or a shower cap, much more fun and a diamond necklace that has been chosen beforehand. See, very childish in my 50s!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): Hahaha... That's cute. 83
Umm, well, actually, you can't get over it. It is an expectation because even though this is a casual relationship, you are hoping at the depths of your heart that something good will continue to happen with this. Thus, with him presenting a present to you for this anonymous holiday, you will satisfied that something good will happen as long as most of the more common holidays and events are celebrated with you. 8]
With that said, what worked for me all these years was I always verbally tell them that I don't really celebrate xmas and find the whole event only meaningful for family and friends getting together to celebrate the end of the year. So if I get them something and they don't give me something, the psychological illusion is that I indirectly told them not to get me anything. If they give me something anyway, great, if they don't, oh well.
...............................
|
