A
female
age
41-50,
*stanie
writes:a friend gave me good advice and made me see the truth in my relationship. how do i get enough courage to take her advice?i've been in my relationship and my boyfriend has nothing to complain about. i am extremely patient with him, i don't nag or argue with him, maintain good communication, attentive and affectionate, and i am there for him emotionally, physically, and mentally. he tells me all the time how he is content and loves spending time with me. problem is that we haven't had sex yet and it's been 2 years! he is extremely paranoid and i went on birth control but he is still afraid! i know him where i know he is faithful and isn't gay! but i'm starting to feel the unfairness that i am everything to him and he's happy...yet i'm left unsatisfied.my friend tells me bluntly: "Honestly, because you two have already crossed the lines to sexual intimacy he has probably already began to feel more comfortable with you and that he has nothing to loose. He knows where he stands with you and that you will never let him go because you're so entangled and committed. (There is no draw or dangling carrot to keep him enticed to keep coming back now that he has what he wants.) Be careful that he does not become board and begin to look elsewhere or expect you to try strange things to satisfy him. I know this is very personal and intimate but this is where you are now."so...what do i do? i love the man and i know he adores me but my patience has run out and i want that physical connection. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, estanie +, writes (24 October 2008):
estanie is verified as being by the original poster of the question well...we've done some foreplay and i know he "can work it" lol but his paranoia stops him from having intercourse with me. he knows i'm fed up, but he wants me to bear with him for a while longer...but not having sex for 2 years is extremely long. and of course i rather be with him then some random guy who's intention is only sex...but i feel that me and my boyfriend's relationship is great except of our lack of intimacy. that's why i'm so focused about it. we've talked about it many times...and i'm starting to get frustrated because it's starting to feel like it ain't never gonna happen...so what should i do?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): This could be that he has had a extremly bad experience. Have you both sat down and talked about the situation you have with each other? Maybe its been so long now hes unsure of weather he can meet up to your expectations that hes created in his own mind. i fully understand your problem. Or maybe you need to take the bull by the horns and tell him how much you want him and make the first move.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Ask him if he is going to do something about your needs and wants or should you look for fulfillment elsewhere?
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