A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, just a quick question... My partner and i were lying in bed and we both just had a really great night, i bought up the topic on whether he thinks about other women and he has always been extremely honest towards me regardless of whether it's an easy topic or more of a difficult discussion. so he told me that he does think about other women, but doesn't put a face to the picture, just random thoughts. we have an extremely healthy sex life and he has made it clear that he doesn't think about anyone else when we are together, but every couple of days or so, he'll visualize other random women and the visuals doesn't turn into a reality, it basically doesn't excentuate to anything further, including masterbating. i felt a jealousy when he did tell me this because i do want to feel extremely important in his life and want him to think about me, however i do understand that's not always the case... so what i'm asking is, when does it cross the boundary between it being acceptable and not acceptable? and am i over reacting in all these?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CupidLover  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 I agree with KrazyKira22,but also...a suggestion; maybe you can look at this situation from a different angle.
Why don't you casually ask him what he fantasizes about.
Him acting this way could either mean he just gets hot over fantasizing about faceless women, OR maybe somethings missing in your sex life.
Ask him about his fantasies,and maybe you could make some come true for him,only if you're comfortable with that.
A
female
reader, krazykira22  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 i think the boundary is clear, its wen these fantasies have a face! then thats not acceptable! and no of course your not over reacting to this hun, anyone else would ask the same question, personally if it were me id be very caredful its a tricky situation. good luck need any further help let me know x
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