A
female
age
30-35,
*orever-blue
writes:Hello.Right, I'll start at the beginning.I'm 15, very nearly 16, a Christian, and go to church. There is a big youth group there, and the minister's children go to this. They are L, 23, R, 21, N, 17, and C, 13.My problem is with R. He's got a girlfriend, B, who's 20. She's a Christian too, and they appeared to be in love when they started going out, about 8 months ago.However, when R is with B, he is a different person, quiet when he's normally the funny one out of our group, subdued, and they both tend to look serious, or even miserable. B is not from out youth group, and most of the youth group dislike her, they say she's got "nothing about her" and that's she's boring.I thought this at first, and I've spoken to her recently and she's been quite nice, however, like the youth group, I still don't think that she's the right guy for R, they've had arguments and don't seem very happy. this can all appear biased when I say that I like R, but I have thought about this - I've removed my feelings and I still don't see why they're together. Obviously it's not my place to say this though.About 2 months ago, R and I started to become really really close, when we hugged goodbye, he wouldn't let go and was silly about it. He also gave me lifts to various places, and looked out for me. When we went on a walk with some of our youth group (B was not there) he held hands with me, and I had to remind him to let go. Also, he looked after me when I was a little tipsy after a friends 18th (again, B was not there), and he had his arm around my waste and held my hand. It was almost like we were a couple, he was paying most attention to me the whole night and it was really cool, then his girlfriend rang him, and he didn't look particularly pleased.When he dropped me home at 11.30 (he was legal to drive), he gave me a hug and me, being a little tipsy, fell into his lap, so it would look like something that it wasn't! Then, when he hugged me again, we nearly kissed, and I leant my head on his shoulder. He didn't look at me throughout this, and I asked him why, all he said was "I have a girlfriend so I have limits." More recently, he's found out that I like him, and he has acted completely normally, however when we were at a friends house, B was in the living room, and I was in the kitchen with R, with the door closed. He was very close to me, so I stepped away, yet he shuffled nearer. When someone opened the door, he hopped away quickly. He hardly spoke to B all night, and they had an argument too.Just this weekend, the youth group (all 23 of us) slept over in the church hall, in tents. (There was a boys room and a girls room!). I went to the Supermarket with him early in the morning to buy supplies, and a 13 year old came with us, but he looks and acts about 10/11. I said to R, "Don't act like the Dad!!" to which he responded with "Well what do you think, Mum?" and then he put his arm around my waist and drew me close to him, before letting go sharpish when he realised that this other boy was still there too.I am certain that I'm in love with R, I've liked him for 3 years, since I first met him. I've never been able to get over him.Please, nobody say how young I am to think this, because I know that he might not be my life partner, being realistic, but my goodness, I do love him.My questions are these - Does he like me? How do I find out? What shall I do? My mother knows the whole situation and has told me to wait, because he will ask me out eventually...but I don't know.I feel like someone's ripped out my heart.Help, please. X
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): wait, ok you're not even 16 yet, and he is 21?
First off, thats most definatly illegal sweetie.
second off, let him see where his relationship with b goes,
and third, your mom knows you might become involved with a 21 yr old and she is ok with it?
You two should sit down with your pastor and your youth leader and b and your mom and discuss it.
A
female
reader, purplecloud03  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 i think he likes u, on numerous times he has shown this and i think he needs to break up with his gf. the start where u wre saying that no1 likes her means absolutly nothing to a couple..and its very wrong to judge a relationship that ur not in. the boy can make his own decisions and people should respect that.
all u can do my dear is wait, if not talk to him about his gf and see wats happening....the age difference isnt that big not a problem i dont think.
but just have a think...he has a gf yet he is flirting and close to fooling around with u....what makes u think he wont break ur heart the same way if u go out?
gl
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