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age
41-50,
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writes: My boyfriend and I were having sex the other night and everything was great until we stopped to change positions. At that point, he touched his penis and felt something he described as "white and sticky". I saw what he was talking about and didn't think anything of it. He hadn't come yet, but I had. He said that he's never felt female come feel like that before and that it felt like either lube or male come. He accused me of having had sex with someone else previously that night and he thinks that what he touched was from someone else that had come out of me and onto his penis. I did NOT have sex with anyone else, but he believes otherwise. I don't know what I can do to prove to him that I never had sex with anyone else. I dont' know why he doesn't understand that female come/discharge can vary. I absolutely love him and it breaks my heart to think that I could lose him over this. Has anyone ever had an expreience like this? Any advice? My heart is breaking! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kittikat  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 Uhmmmm, you're right- a woman's discharge can vary from day to day, even hour to hour depending on hormones and no two people are ever the same. Neither is every sexual encounter. Not to be rude, but I'd laugh in his face if a dude said that to me. Of course there's not any easy way to prove you didn't have sex with someone the night before- short of some type of forensic testing. You shouldn't have to! You said no and his reasons for being suspicious (if you've listed them all) are ridiculous. Ignore his claims and send him to a website like:
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/women/reproductive/vaginal/194.html
or you could just have him go to your next GYN appt so that he could talk to the doc. If he still wants to press the issue, he could just be looking for an excuse to end it. I'm sorry, but there's something not quite right when they're so quick to accuse. Hope it all works out for you, stay strong. You don't need a guy who works that way, nobody does.
A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Yes, the exact same thing happened to me a long time ago; my bo thought I'd been with my ex and it ended up that I had a yeast infection coming on.
I explained it to him the next time we met and that was that. However, men don't know the woman's body well enough to realize we have variations of consistency in our secretions, thick, and whitish at differnt times during the month or clear and stringy...which tells us when we are ovulating. Maybe some literature along those lines would clear up that concern he has??? wouldn't hurt. Otherwise, try to talk if you can. Best, Gena
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): whoops, sorry i swore, but it does make me so mad! I was accused by my first husband of similar and it hurts like hell. If he doesnt accept the reason then talk to him and question why he doesnt trust you and then question yourself as to why you love him and why you are with him.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): How can you possibly love someone who accuses you of being with someone else? He must not trust you! You need to tell him that the cum was because you were excited by him and aroused and not off someone else. The barmy bastard!
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): It seems you need to sit him down and tell him he's being crazy. It's not your fault what your cum is like, and if all it takes is this little evidence to not trust you, then maybe you should reconsider your relationship. Say that to him, and 'threaten' him with it, even if you're not sure you'd actually end things. I think he's being childish, and if he's not willing to accept what you've said, then how could you continue to be with him? Good luck honey.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Whats your sexual history? do you do one night stands, are you quick to fall into bed.
If he's got it in his head youre easy there will be no way out. Obviously trust is a issue for some reason.
If your history is good tell him you are offended by the suggestion and DEMAND an apology, and if not finish the relationship.
Good luck
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