A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was in love with this guy in my early teens and he was 16 at the time.We were together for many years had two kids and then he winds up being over protective very mentally, verbally,physically abusive toward me.The abuse started after I had sex with him.He didn't want me to be with anyone except him.He demanded that I talk to no one. If I did speak to anyone then he's claim I must've slept with the guy.My life with this guy was pure hell!Long story short he is internally sick and he has a girl friend but constantly tells me how much he misses me and he is really sorry for all that he has done to me.I told him I forgive him but I can't take him back and he seems like he can't understand why I can 't take him back.What part of "we aren't going back together" does he not understand? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): He is a selfish, sociopath and an abuser. Please listen to your gut. My gut tells me to stay far away from this man.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2013):
 1. STOP talking to him it is NOT helping in any way shape or form to move on if you keep contact with him.
2. Block him, delete him whatever you need to do. If you really feel a need to let him know WHY, then say I do not want anything from you, not even a chat - so stop contacting me. I don't want to be in your life and I don't want YOU in mine. STICK to it.
Don't fall for his BS.
YOU DO not owe this POS man anything.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 How about this... Next time he calls just say "Sorry I'm busy, I'm not interested, I don't want to see you again... Ever".
That should be clear enough.
Then, here's what you do. You ignore him completely. That means when he calls you do not answer, if he calls and you can't tell if it's him (caller ID) then answer, if it's him, hang up. When he messages you (text message or email) you ignore it and delete it.
After a while he might just get the message.
It's not he doesn't understand. What it is he is hoping to wear you down so you say yes. However, this is something you see in the Hollywood films, and other than in Hollywood it never works.
If it continues, then call the police and lodge a complaint with them so they are aware of it. You don't have to take it further but do report it. That way if he persists and persists they already have a bit of history on it and you can take the matter further if you want/need to. This is also a good idea if it gets out of control and he starts showing up at your place/work.
Good on you for ending it!
What a loser this guy is.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (13 January 2013):
How self-indulgent of him to expect you just to forget years of abuse because he’s sick and he wants the chance to put things right. He’s been given your forgiveness, that’s big enough of you to do that. Now if he really cared for you he’d leave you in peace. More likely he’s regretting all his actions and selfishly trying to appease his guilt. The dignified thing to do is wish him well, and tell him that if he cares for you he needs to leave you alone.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (13 January 2013):
Congratulations on ending the abuse. Your ex only wants u bc his current isn't nurturing him. She's probably like hell I can't afford to take care of someone else. I'm really proud of u, stay strong. This man be it sick or not is still trying to abuse u. Your situation reminds me of the Tyler Perry movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman. In this film, the husband cheated on his longtime wife and abused her both emotionally and physically. She knew he was cheating and felt 2nd best, if best at all. So he kicks her out and moves in the lady he'd been cheating with. All is well until some freak accident happen to him and he needs support. So he goes crawling back to the wife. Stay strong, I know this must be hard, but don't give in to him. Men like this are toxic bc u give give give and they're never happy. Bc they don't truly want u although they enjoy having power over u. He contacts u bc he hopes you'll break down n need him so he can be back in control of ur life.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Ask him if his girlfriend knows that he wants you back under his control. Maybe a hint that you may tell her if he does not stop may help. You do not have to entertain or answer to this guy period. Unless it is about your children or extremely important then ignore him. If you talk to him, he will always think there`s a chance you will take him back.
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