A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When I spent a year working in Australia, I met the man of my dreams. He trained at a gym which had a coffee shop nearby, so as I worked there I saw him daily. After a few weeks of flirting, he asked me out and started dating. When my year was up we had been dating for 7 months and it broke my heart to leave him and not know when I would see him again. We decided not to wait for each other as it was fair to the other. However that christmas he flew over to see me and spent christmas with my family and I. He stayed for two weeks and on his last day, he asked me to move back to Australia and promised he would consider moving to England at a later day. Stupid or not, I agreed and I officially moved over nearly 4 months later. That was 3 years ago but now I'm back living in England on my own after he had an affair behind my back with an ex girlfriend. I gave up my family, friends and whole life for him and he let me down. It took a long time to sort things out so I could come home and during that time he tried to convince me to stay. He proposed marriage and even kids. He offered to move to another part of Australia but when I told him it was England or nothing, he refused to listen. But now I'm back home, I feel like a stranger in my own family home, and like a third wheel with my old friends. I can't help but wonder if I made a mistake coming home without even trying to forgive my boyfriend or try making a life out there on my own with the friends I had made. It doesn't help when he calls every few days, texts me daily and Facebook's me constantly. I feel really messed up and quite depressed over it all. Honestly I love him still, deeply but I hated living away from home and not seeing my family for 3 years. I felt so let down I gave everything to him, and if he would move here I would be able to forgive him as what hurt the most was everything I gave up to move there and he ruined it all. I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (27 October 2013):
 Sounds like you need to way up the options and have a serious think about what you want to do. No one can tell you what the right thing is to do. It's possible you two could get back together and live a happy life it's also possible you could never forgive him or he could cheat again. Life is about taking risks.
It will take time to rebuild your life after being away so long but it is a great opportunity to try new things and meet new people. Don't sit around moping, make yourself a new life.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (27 October 2013):
 you give him that ultimatum. you tell him that if he truly loves you and wants to be with you, then he will move to england and you two will work it out. but if he is unwilling, then you tell him it's over and you are moving on.
you literally gave up your entire world for him and he threw it in the trash. if he wants to make up for his mistakes, he will do whatever it takes. this is a test of how much you matter to him. i know if i truly loved someone and i messed things up, i would do ANYTHING to get them back. if he truly loves you, he will come to you.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (26 October 2013):
 First of all I know it may be hard, but you need to get him out of your life. Its been 3 years now! You need to let go of him and rid him from your life or you are never going to be able to go forward as he will keep dragging you back. You are depressed, its obvious, that could be why you just don't feel right at home, go to the doctors and talk about it, i'm sure if you don't already have them you will get prescribed some anti-depressants. But trust me I have been there, everyday he contacts you, your gonna feel worse, block him on facebook, tell him you have had enough of him contacting you, change your number and stop letting him contact you. And of course you shouldn't of attempted to forgive him! What he did to you was a huge breach on your trust, and he will most likely do it again if you give him the benefit of the doubt. Focus of yourself for a while, build up a new friend group, get a hobby or spend more time with your family and try and make yourself feel better, it might take a couple of months, you might end up missing him or contacting him but its the best thing you can do! Get over him first and then think about whether you feel the UK is right for you or not, you will have a much clearing vision then. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2013): To begin with please stop saying ' you gave everything up for him' . In any relationship we take ' chances' sometimes they play out well and sometimes they bomb .. Life is a chance .. By the grace of god go I .I know your feeling real down sweetie, and hey that's okey .. What he did was shitty it really was .. Instead of coming to you and aaying ' hey I'm not happy with whatever it was in the relationship, he cheated ' by coming to you . You two could have either worked through it or parted but at least he would have still be beenfaithful . Give yourself time, it's okey to feel odd .. When we build our home somewhere else then move, of course you are going to feel 'strange' it takes time to get on your feet and your emotions will not be helping this ..I don't have the right to tell you to block him ect as there are couples who have worked through infidelity and its brought them closer together .. So I think I would suggest though if you can turning your mobile phone of or redirecting his calls to answer machine until you have time to figure out what you 'really' want to do ..Don't go on Facebook either . Give yourself at least two to three weeks to recoup and then see how you feel then .. Don't rush .. This is your life . You are talking about .. And get as much support from your family n friends .. Let them know also you are feeling a tad strange and need some extra support and time .. Be kind to yourself sweetie, and when your ready I would talk with him whether it is to either build a bridge or to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2013): You took a risk - it didn't work out. Yes that's a harrowing experience but it doesn't take away from the memories you shared together and the friends you had over there, and the experiences you had.
You can make new friends in the UK and make a life for yourself. It is strange for a while but it's ok. It's gets better.
Chin up, onwards and upwards, all is not lost. You lived, you loved and there is still many more opportunities
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