A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having some concerns, weather my friend is true to me or not. I'm going frew a bit of an emotional time and i txt her, upset, saying that i felt like she wasn't that botherd with me. I mentioned in the txt that some times i will ask her how she is and she won't give me any response and will only reply to half of the txt message. Don't get me wrong that's not all the time just the odd ocation.Anyway, since i got upset with her, i've txt asking how her and the family are, how's ur day and what have you been up to nice. The last two times she hasn't write much back. Just put a basic response.The thing that concerns me is that, she knows i was upset when i txt her before, and she didn't fully reply to the last two txt i sent her. She just put what she was doing for the day and not even botherd responding to how i asked how she was. She doesn't really make much effort to have a conversation with me when i txt her. She doesn't really tell me much about her life or how she is and if i talk about stuff she won't say anything back half of the time.I feel a bit like she is being manipulative towards me. Especially as i got upset and told her that she doesn't reply when i ask her how she is and she's done the same again, twice.Any advice would be greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Heya,You need to be a bit careful with this one, dont rush to conclusions. Firstly, you say the lack of response is mainly when it comes to talking about herself so I can think of at least one very good explanation for this that makes her more, not less of a friend. Maybe she feels bad burdening you with her stuff while your going through a rough time. Another explanation is that she has things going on herself and feels like she cant say anything because again she doesnt want to burden you.Another explanation is that she simply isnt that good over txt, which isnt unheard of. How are things when you meet up/talk on the phone? Its possible your situation is stirring either awkwardness or memories in her. I dont think shes being manipulative, inconsiderate possibly yes. I'm not sure why your going through an emotional time but get the impression it is something to do with a great loss (not necessarily relationship loss either) and at times like this its natural to question just about everything we have held dear and have come to rely on. The great danger is we throw things into chaos because of our inner chaos. I see nothing to suggest shes a false friend but there is clearly an issue. I think however its a question of time and steeping back which I know is going to be hard for you to do because you obviously need her alot right now. Try and talk to other friends, ones who can give you more of what you need right now and let time do the rest. Hope that helps. Good luck and take care :)x
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Dear friend,
I understand that you are hurt and frustrated, but its your fault to expect anything from her...
Just because you are the way you are, doesn't mean she has to respond to you the same way..
I agree with you that she's a little inconsider? I am not sure how long you both know each other, how close you both are?
Maybe you are more attach to the friendship than she is? Who knows?
Why don't you have a nice talk to her? Not texting, but meet her for coffee?, somewhere and have a real friend to friend talk.. Let her know that you think of her friendship a great deal and that you feel I little hurt.. Express your feelings to her, what bothers you...
After the conversation, you might be able to understand her little better and where your friendship really stands..
Honesty, talking is the best solution to solve problems..
Reading your story, I agree with you, you haven't done anything wrong and I really understand you and why you feel this way...
Just talk to her!
Good luck and hope that after your coversation with your friend, you both can move forward and build a better, stronger friendship!
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