A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having passionate sex with a guy who's got a long term gf.He works in my city alot so shes never found out.Everything was going fine, until i started to have feeling for him after 2 months, i wanted to tell him, although after a conversation we had when he said he liked me but didnt want to lead me on, i got nervous and told him that he wasnt and that i only enjoyed the sex.He also said that he was starting to feel guilty but when i told him that it was fine and we could remain good friends, he was wanting me to go round, to talk, but when i did, he pounced on me. And we had the best time ever.This is really confusing, and i really do like him, but i think i need some perspective on this situation.Can anyone help? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (16 September 2007):
 I hope this doesnt sound too harsh but you said he has told you he likes you but doesnt want to lead you on - that makes me think his feelings for you arent as strong as yours are for him and by saying he doesnt want to lead you on he means he doesnt want you to think he wants a relationship with you or cares about you the way he cares about his girlfriend. so i'm not sure how hurt he will be if you break it off. i think it is just a convenience thing for him. you deserve better than that so send him packing and move on with someone you can have a relationship, MUTUAL feelings for each other, and great sex without the guilt and the drama.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI totally agree with all of you!Thankyou for your honesty!
I will think this through and find a way to break it of gently.
I really want to call it an end , i know that, but how do you tell someone you care about its over without them feeling hurt?i have the balls, although, i dont wanna sound too harsh telling them it over.
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A
female
reader, landsharks1stlady  +, writes (16 September 2007):
I have to comment, not to be all up in your business, but simply because I am in a similar situation as yourself. The only difference is that I am the "girlfriend" in this case. Honestly speaking, I understand you have feelings for him, but if he is feeling guilty, then he obviously has feelings for his girlfriend. For you to continue with the relationship is your choice, but as a woman, how do you expect for people to respect you when you are being so disrespectful to the girlfriend. I know that there are types of people who, "if they want it - they go out and get it" but its not right when you are breaking up another relationship/family to get what you want.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 There is really nothing confusing about it. You both have very little integrity, are selfish and don't care about hurting others. That is it basically. You can not be "friends". Friends go shopping, running, ball games etc. You guys take your clothes off and have sex. That is not what friends do.
Is it really confusing?
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (15 September 2007):
ok im gonna try to remember its you asking for advice here and not the girlfriend - and i'll keep my feelings on women screwing over other women by getting involved with their men to myself.
i dont see a future for you and him and i think the longer it goes on the more you will get hurt. if he is feeling guilty, it makes me think he really cares for his girlfriend and doesnt want to hurt her (although he has a strange way of showing it!) so i dont see him leaving her. he has his cake and he's eating it. he has the girlfriend for love and affection and he has you for when he is working away to have a good time with. you wouldnt really want a relationship with him anyway would you? how would you ever be able to trust him? once a cheater always a cheater....
so i think you should forget about him before you end up more emotionally involved than you already are and try to see the bad points in him - such as letting his poor unsuspecting girlfriend think he's working hard and letting her miss him while he's in bed with you. you deserve a man you could trust and who you can be with for real and in a genuine relationship with. you should be more than a guaranteed lay when the girlfriends not about.
all the best
brooke x
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