A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:What is going on with my friend? Lets call her A. A recently broke up with her boyfriend of 3 months. Lets call him B. Apperently A dumped B, but i don't know why. About two weeks later, she was asked out by this guy (C) that she liked before but nothing happened. She said yes. That was about a week ago. They already told each other they love each other! They haven't even been on their first date yet because C had a family emergency and couldn't make it. She's been this way with B and her boyfriend before that. And right after she dumped her old boyfriends, she almost immediately finds someone new. When she started going out with B, it was only a weekend after she dumped her ex. No one understands why they're moving so fast--they're fourteen and they already say they love each other!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone!!!!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 They are 14 :) .
At 14 " She's got nice blue eyes "= I love her, " He's got really cool new sneakers "= I love him.
You sound more mature , rational and sensible than your friend, and that's an excellent thing, but... don't be surprised , generally speaking your friends are the norm and you the exception in your age bracket.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (10 June 2011):
There are many experiences in life that people give the word love to, and many reasons why people say I love you.
For some people, especially young people, love can be that connection that they feel with someone they are getting to know well for the first time, the feeling they get when they connect with another person, when there is attraction involved. Another word for this is infatuation.
Sometimes people will meet only once and have a very very deep connection and call that love too. There is nothing to say that this is not a good use of the word love, but another question to ask is, what does it actually mean to say that you are in love, in this way?
To me, this kind of love that is a strong feeling but not based on the experience of forming a deep relationship with someone, is not that meaningful. These feelings can be powerful, but they can change as quickly as a person who experiences a powerful feeling of hunger, or a powerful headache. More meaningful kinds of love develop over longer periods of time, through the experience of getting to know someone in a deep way. It doesn't mean that those instant feelings aren't real, or meaningful, or important, it is up to every person to decide for themselves how it is important to experience and express their love.
Young people often move fast, based on these early feelings of love, but often they learn through experinece that these feelings are not a good basis for relationships given that they can change so quickly, and that you can connect like that with many people. Your friend is young and does not have this experience, she is still learning how she likes to experience love and relationships, which is ok.
Understand that people think and feel differently from you, and that this often depends on how a person has been brought up, and taught to behave. You can decide for yourself what you think is best, and you can leave your friend to do the same, without needing to judge whether she is right or wrong. There is no right or wrong when it comes to love and relationships really, only differences in styles, and learning what you like and also what actually works for you.
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