A
male
age
36-40,
*onyb87
writes:Right, I am 25 and have been working with a women fro the last couple of months and I have fallen for her more then anyone else in my life. She is a year younger then me and engaged. We have flirted since the second day we worked together and got on so so well. She trusts me more then anyone and confides things to me she doesn't tell anyone else. She is always down in the dumps till she is around me, and contantaly tells me the fiance is pissing her off for one thing or another. He does not work, they are always moaning at each other and she tells me she is unhappy. we are in contact every day and met up outside of work. we have kissed on a few occasions (without booze involved) and we get on so well and have a great time. A couple of days ago, i told her how i truly felt. We met up and have a great laugh and kissed at the end of the night. since then, she has told me she can not leave her fiance. Her words were, "dispite everything I love him" I have promised her the world, to make her happy for the rest of her life, and never to hurt her in any way. (he tells me she trusts me too) but she refuses to accept her feelings for me. I think she is scared to leave her fiance and does not want to hurt him. I do not want to hurt her, I refuse to tell anyone about us and what we have done. I do not want to play games or do anything below the belt to have her. she has found out things about me from other people, such as i have been with a fair few women nd i think that is affecting her decisions. Please can anyone help me with this dilema. I have fallen for her more then i could ever imagine. any help is greatly appreciated. Tony
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, tonyb87 +, writes (16 March 2012):
tonyb87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you both for your answers. i am getting out now. no more whinging to me or anything. will just be work friends only. thanks again.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 It takes a while to learn that, however much you love a woman, she needs to be free if you are to pursue anything with her. And this means that she needs to want to be free for you.
It takes a longer while to really learn that you should not pursue women who are not free. This girl was engaged when you met her and that should have meant off-limits.
She has already told you she "cannot" leave the fiancé, meaning she "will not". That must be the end of the story. Learn the lesson: not free = unavailable, off-limits, wrong, painful, heartbreaking.
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