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Have you given into the "what if??"

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2009)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I've posted quite recently in the past couple of weeks about my boyfriend who was using an internet dating site and if I should break up with him.

I ended up breaking up with him but I really want to take him back. I'm so confused and dont know what to do.

He says he is determined to win me back and that he loves me. Hes been telling me all these things about his past relationships how it really messed him up and how he was getting scared but he really wants us to work.

I'm just really scared that what if I dont try and it could of turned out great? I know that I'm definitely putting myself in hot water here with maybe taking him back could be a mistake but what if it isnt? Its that bloody "what if" its doing my head in.

So I suppose I'm not really asking a question about my problem so much but have you ever given into the "What if" card? Did it work out for you? Or fail...

Just give me anything here...something. My mind is melting.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

I haven't read your other questions, but if he was using an internet dating site, he wasn't that into you. He was probably hanging on to you in case he didn't find anyone new, and since you left, now he's desperate to have you back. Maybe he just can't stand to be alone. Whatever the reason, he had his chance with you, and he blew it. Move on and find someone who won't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

It probably wouldn't of turn out great though.

You'd do much better joining up with that internet dating site where you're more likely to find the love and romance you desperately deserve.

There are many, many horny men who would love to enjoy a night of passion with you. Trust me on this one. I don't see why you want this guy back so badly. You'd definitely be putting yourself back into hot water by letting yourself fall for him when you can do so much better.

Don't melt.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (14 December 2009):

I never played the 'what if' card, and I'm happier for it, I'll be honest. I was cheated on, and she begged to even just remain friends. I cut all contact. It was the best thing I could have done, because now I'm with someone who's far better. Some have played the what if card, and won. Some have played and lost.

If you're going to give him a second chance, then take it very slowly and really make him work.

But remember what I said. I didn't play the 'what if' card, and now I'm much happier.

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (14 December 2009):

give him one more chance but make it clear that this is the last time. Then let it go. Dont bring it up every time you think back.

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