A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am very confused! Please help me understand my feelings!I think that I am horrible person, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. Recently, he was very distant, for like 2 weeks. I would IM/text him and he would answer hours later,or I would try to strike up conversation with him and he would not seem very interested or did not propose topics to talk about. We do not see each other often, so I would assume there is stuff to talk about!! So I tried very hard those two weeks, to come up with interesting topics, or give him his space, I never said anything about him IM/texting me hours later and did not make a scene, I just mentioned calmly that I feel we are not communicating as well as before.Until I got so fed up, that I lost interest on him, I got tired of begging for love for nurturing and attention. I did not speak or call him or text him for a week, and he says he is dying and is calling everyday, but I do not even want to answer his phone call,It's just that to me he is not interesting to talk to. I have thought that maybe our love died, even if he is now actively pursuing me. Has this ever happened to you? suddenly losing interest for someone on a serious relationship? I wish I could fix it ... I really do not know how.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 July 2012):
You're not a horrible person. At all.
But, I think what this shows is that your relationship has gone as far as it can. You'll always find that a relationship will have problems that need to be fixed, problems that need time, issues that need to be resolved etc.
To me, him not communicating as much as usual for 2 weeks isn't the biggest issue in the world. My girlfriend has gone abroad for 2 weeks, and not once I have I lost interest, even though we've only spoken twice or so.
Many other people are apart for longer, and they don't fall out of love. Military wives/husbands or example.
And, sometimes people just need space. For whatever reason. That doesn't mean waiting around forever, but 2 weeks isn't the worst in the world.
If the problem here was that his contact wasn't as brilliant as usual, then I would have expected a stronger relationship to have come through it, because you'd have asked why, he'd have spoken about it.
Instead, you just lost interest. To me, that shows that this relationship is over, and perhaps has been for some times. You also mention that you don't see each other that much, so perhaps this is a relationship that existed just because it was convenient to claim it was something until someone else came along.
Whatever the reason, I'd say pick up the phone and tell him that it's over, and I'd say that you need to move on. He's not the one at all, and he never was.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012): Im going through the exact same thing right now... my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years suddenly doesnt mean as much to me as he did a few weeks ago. I think it is completely normal for you to want to move on to other people, but if you do not love him in my opinion you should break off with him, because the longer you let it go on the harder it will get for both of you
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (22 July 2012):
 I have two words for you 'reverse pyschology'..
When you were texting your boyfriends trying to start up a conversation he dint make an effort but the minute you decided to stop making the effort he came running back to you..wow!typical..
When men feel they have the girls under their wings they don't really try,cause they know end of the day their girlfriends will be waiting for them..but the minute they think their girl is drifting apart they come running back to you..
I think you shld give him a chance to miss,don't do the texting all the time,let him call him,don't hover around him so much that he doesn't miss you..!but if you really think you can't work on this,sit your boyfriend down talk to him..tell him either he puts the effort to work things out or you both part ways for good..
Good luck x
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