A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 2 years and have recently found out my husband is doing drugs. I argue with him all the time and feel he is not listening to my feelings or thoughts. We have one child and I feel this marriage is going nowhere and am thinking of divorce. What should I do? Should I stay or go? Please help, any information will be good.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 How are the drug laws in your country? I am from Holland so we hear nothing but horror stories like a woman going to jail for having lend her car to her boyfriend who bought weed in it.
Crazy people those Americans but if your husband is committing a crime what might happen to you because of it?
How bad is the drug use, again remember that in Holland soft drugs are semi-legal so for a certain group of people marijuana is seen the same as tobacco. I am not going to debate how valid this is but there is a difference between a single joint in the weekend and smoking half a dozen a day.
Dealing with a drug addiction is very difficult and unless he is himself willing to work at it of his own accord it will be messy and you got a small child to think off.
Are there reasons for the drug use? Can they be solved?
What other reasons do you have for the marriage not working out? Lot of these type of questions start simple enough and then in an update the whole story is sometimes slowly revealed painting a totally different picture.
For the potential legal problems he has got to stop to safeguard the future of your family. Your kid comes first.
If he is doing to flee real life trouble try and make him face up to them and solve them before things go wrong.
If he is just another druggie, you need more to raise a kid. Better a stable single parent household then a father there who is always going to be trouble.
A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Try to work it out. If his problem is just mild, like if he's not addicted, then communication is key. Try to CALMLY talk to him about this. Tell him all your thoughts and fears about his drug use. If he refuses to listen, go to a marriage counselor or take a break from the relationship while he works on fixing his drug problem. If he values you over his drugs then he'll stop taking them.
It's a different situation, though, if he's addicted and/or abusing the drugs. And I'm assuming he is if it's causing this much strain on your marriage. If that's the case, mo matter what else you decide to do, you must get some professional help for your husband. Try to get him enrolled in a substance abuse help program. Take him to a doctor. Many people with drug problems have other underlying problems, like depression and anxiety. Your husband might have a serious problem that needs treatment.
Don't delay, the longer he uses drugs the worse his mental and physical health, and your marriage, will be.
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