A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid ,I have raised my children from babies to adults my daughter has graduated and has a job and moved on with her life.Now my son is the last one with me at home he will be 18 in nine months I told him his gravy train will end on his eighteenth birthday no more shoes,clothes,money nothing. My baby began to cry but he has to understand he one day he will be come a man and I want him to be able to stand up to anything out here I taught him how to pay bills,buy food,and most importantly how to keep a clean house.If he follows the rules of life I believe he will make it.So I am getting him prepared to go look for a job tomorrow hopefully he gets it's. This is the right way to behave, isn't it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): Are you out of your mind? Of course you need to pressure him towards finding a job, but cutting off all financial aid that you as a parent are OBLIGED by law to provide is plain irresponsible. (nevermind morality!)
He's only 18!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): There is nothing sexier than a man who can take care of himself. My ex boyfriend's mom was/is like you. And because of it, by the time he was 22 yrs old he had graduated a reputable university with honors, had a great job, his own place, 401 k, saving money, and was quite a go getter.
Showing your kids how to take care of themselves early on is the best gift you can give them.
I know guys whose mom's do EVERYTHING for them...and it's so unattractive. Because they are adults but they don't know how to do anything! It's quite a turn off and greatly affects how people/girls will percieve them.
There is a quote: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
I think you are doing a great job.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013):
I have a son at 20 at college, hates laundry ( mums job) hates cooking ( mums job) we buy his clothes his shoes, spending money, gifts to others for birthday presents and the list is endless. I even make him rolls on sausage or fry ups after a night out. Is he my only one . Nope I'm raising two more girls . Haha
Our kids are spoiled and I guess I do see it as my job... I do think your thinking right in a way but as eyeswideopen said good luck with that and please tell us how it goes .
I for one, would love to know lol Lou x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): I don't think it's bad to stop subsidising him once he turns 18 at all. If he gets a job and is earning then he shouldn't need to ask you for money or clothes should he? Of course that's not to say you won't buy him things from time to time if you want to, but that's a lot different to him expecting things to carry on as they were when he was a schoolboy. I think you should stick to your guns and make it clear you expect him to be a responsible adult from now on. Anything you give him can then be a bonus and not a right. All the best.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 February 2013):
 Heck I'm nearly 53 and I still get gifts and stuff from daddy....
at 18 he will graduate from high school... what's going on for college?
my younger son went to college (thanks to grandpa) and when he graduated he needed for a bit to live with dad and stepmom... now at 26 he's totally on his own...
but we never kicked him out.....
why did you have it figured out with your daughter and not your son? what's different about the kids that has you so worried about son?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 February 2013):
 Ha ha...as a mother of 3 kids, now in their 30's, all I can say is "Good luck with that!"
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 You're teaching him to be a responsible young man. Well done you.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 If your daughter grew up with the same rules as your son and she has made the transition from kid to adult well (it appears she has) then I'm sure you're doing something right.
You can't support him for the rest of his life and if you do, any self-respecting female won't have him. Push him, but with encouragement :) It's good that you're telling him before he actually turns 18 and getting him prepared to get a job :) Just don't spoon feed the job to him! He needs to know how to get one himself if he quits this first one for whatever reason.
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