A
male
age
51-59,
*ost and confussed
writes: My girlfriend of two years recently separated after living together for 5 months. She immediately began dating a coworker that she had been spending a lot of time with. It's now been two months and they are still together. She tells me she still love me and thinks about our history together but continues to spend more time with him especially since they work the same hours. I finally told her we could not be friends. I need time to get my head straight.I feel like I have pushed her away further into his arms and we cant ever fix our relationship as long as she continues to work there. I have not contacted her in 4 days. Is there any hope of this ever working out or should I just move on?
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male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (25 February 2011):
The "she tells me she loves me and thinks about our history" line she's feeding you is designed to keep you on the periphery just in case her current relationship with her co-worker falls apart. Is that what you want to be -- some girl's emotional failsafe? And what's this we "separated" bit? You broke up. She moved out of your place and is with someone else now. So, you did the right thing by telling her you can't be friends with her. By doing so, you haven't pushed her further into her current bf's arms. You simply made a wise choice. Now you have to follow through. Man up. Don't contact her. If you continue to contact her you are going to start to look desperate and foolish. Cut contact with her in every way. If she contacts you, ignore her. At the same time, start living life on your terms, not hers. It's the only way you will get your head straight. Good luck.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 February 2011):
I couldn't say whether there is hope or not. But I am 99% sure you didn't push her farther away. It sounds like she liked him and they either planned to get together or they were already together (since it's not typical to come out of a long term relationship and suddenly get into another one). I would move on, since it sounds like they've both been thinking about this for awhile. I'm sorry that happened, but do you really want her back after she left you for someone else?
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (25 February 2011):
You can't push anybody to where they don't want to be. ijs!
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