A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, i am a uni student and a virgin and have been seeing this guy for about a little while but he's not yet my proper boyfriend. However, the other day we were just like fooling around in his room and then he put his penis inside of me but i told him i wasnt really ready cos like id want my first time to be special and stuff and plus hes not even my proper boyfriend! and like the next day i felt really sore and now im wrorried that i lost my virginity to him because i really didnt want that to happen! and plus im wrorried i could be pregnant, i really want to talk to him about it but i feel like i cant because we're not in a proper relationship. any advice would be really great, thankyou, sandra xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kept Women  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Sounds like you did something you regret so I think you should forgive yourself and move on..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): once you commit yourself in relationships you should tell your self that one day it will happen,your day will come for both of you to have sex but don't hurry it it cause your love wont go nowhwere, but i can give u an advice that do accept what had happen to you,you are too you that you can still a man that you realy love,
Sindi.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 October 2007):
You are no longer a virgin. Use a pregnancy test to see if you are pregnant.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): technically you are not a virgin. but i truly believe that losing ones virginity is an emotional thing as well. i have a friend who lost her virginity very young to a guy who was much older than her and completely took advantage but she thought of herself as a virgin right up until she was 19 and fell in love with someone. so physically and technically you are no longer a virgin but i bet in your heart you still feel like one so just keep THAT for a proper boyfriend because its that feeling of giving someone something you've had all your life and which is a part of who you are which makes your first time special.
and from how you said it, i think its unlikely you are pregnant. it sounds like it was literally a once-in-straight-out-again thing and he didn't come? because in that case the chances of you being pregnant are slim to none but if it would put your mind at ease then by all means do a pregnancy test.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 If he put his penis inside you then you lost your virginity I'm afraid.
If you don't want to have sex you need to make it VERY CLEAR to any guy you are with. Uni students are going to try it on with you, and if you don't say NO they'll keep on trying. You're could end up getting in all sorts of trouble, including getting raped (if what happened wasn't that... from the way you wrote it it sounds like it could be?).
You should decide what you want from a relationship, and what a boy has to do to be with you. Then make sure you get that, or don't keep him around. Otherwise you'll just end up being taken advantage of. It sounds like that includes being able to talk about sex with him.
In the mean time you also need to go to the chemist and get a pregnancy test. Do it as soon as possible.
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A
male
reader, samgofong +, writes (17 October 2007):
No you haven't. But you should always be careful even when "fooling around," when it comes to protecting yourself. You should set some rules with him so that he respects your choice. Fooling around is leading him on, which can turn out dangerous and harmful if you'd like him to respect you in the future. Set the rules, and take care of yourself.
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A
male
reader, Dextro69 +, writes (17 October 2007):
 HOW on earth can your not proper boyfriend get into a position to be able to put his penis in you without your consent? Technically yes he could have taken your virginity, but then technically you could also have lost it riding a bike or by using tampons or in many other ways in fact 0.03% of women are born without a hymen so technically are never virgins.
I believe virginity is a gift only you can give at the time that is right for you. By this I don’t mean that if you decide after your first real time it wasn’t right you can have your virginity back, but I mean if you are rapped or as in you case he just put it there so to say then you haven’t really lost your virginity. If you allowed him to finish the yes you have lost it but if you got him to stop as soon as you knew what he was up to then emotionally no you haven’t
whilst it is unlikely you are pregnant if he just put it in and took it out still get tested.
also if fooling around you mean oral sex or mutual masturbation then in future use condoms to protect against STDs and getting pregnant if the same happens again.
one way to stop it from happening again tho is one of you remains fully clothed (waist down at least) at all times ie he does you then you do him or vice versa.
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