A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for just over two years but suddenly yesterday, after a bad argument I solely threatened to break up with him, and he told me that it was the right thing to do, that we do not work and he doesn't want a headache anymore, he doesn't want a relationship. He's in his final year of uni and has a job and I'm in a similar busy stage of my life. I know I've been really bad to him in the past I start the stupidet arguments and it must have all got too much for him, he's an amazing guy, very unemotional though and thats what sometimes sparks my petty arguments, the fact that sometimes he may not find it necessary to kiss and hug in the streets or always hold hands. Anyway, he was being very stubborn and said he still didnt want a relationship untill i told him that we need to give it a chance and I promised to change. It's only been one day, he said okay, and I'm trying to give him more freedom now. My problem is, does it mean he has lost love for me? I'm so so so frightened that the fact he wanted to break up with me means he doesn't really want me. I know he loves me, he said 'I love you so much' half an hour before tha fatal argument. I just don't want to keep dwelling on this, have I lost him? Or can I show him that I'm gonna be the girl he deservesThank youSarah
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 He is the kind of person that does not want to communicate and actually have a real discussion. I know this kind of person because this is how my brother and my father are. My brother had a gf but they broke up because of the same reason and my mother has been having an affair for several years, because my dad won't fuck her. If he can't it is because chose to drink beer instead of fuck her. If you have to try super hard to get a relationship to work, whether you are a male or female, you are not compatible with the other person. You are young and you have your life ahead of you. Don't stay in a situation where your partner supposedly loves you, but is too damn stubborn to kiss you.What the hell is that? Seriously, what the hell is that? It is crap, and you know it.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 October 2011):
You are on your very last chance with this guy right now. Use it wisely, because if you start any more of those arguments, or if you hurt him again, he will walk.
The fact that he has given you this last chance after what you said (you were the one who suggested breaking up, after all), shows that he wants this to work. But this really is it for you, so step up and really deal with these issues that are bothering you rather than just starting petty arguments. Because no matter how much a man loves a woman, if she's too much hassle in the end he'll walk.
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (11 October 2011):
I don't think you've lost him. I've had an argument where I've all but broken up with a partner before and we are still happily together.
I think you need to sit down together and talk, you both need to express your feelings and if there are things that you want that you aren't getting from your relationship you need to discuss it with him.
You won't get anywhere by treading on egg shells as you won't be able to talk through your problems that way. If you trust him to still love you in return you will make it through this, it was a fight but it was just that and your relationship is intact.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (11 October 2011):
 i would say you have not lost him until one of you walks away and finds someone else . so if you are starting arguments all the time you need to set back and think what are they over? are they worth the trouble they are causing ? are they important issues , or are they things that could never matter or help in the relationship but hurt and do damage to the relationship. if you are starting arguments over nothing then it is more than likely getting old to him. he more than likely does not show emotion to you because he keeps things inside bottled up, more than likely things do bother him . you may need to set down and talk things out not argue things out , and tell him how you feel . tell him you would like to hold hands while walking down the street, ect. , ect. no you haven't lost him but you both need to get on the same page, set down and express your feelings to him and let him know how you feel toward him. if he is unemotional like you say it may be harder for him to open up and express his feelings toward you. but i am sure he loves you or he would not have said (he loves you so much) as you stated. but the arguing over nothing needs to stop for the relationship to grow!
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