A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance has just let it known that he has imagined what sex would be like with other people based on their bodies and personalities...he does say that I always 'win' though. This coupled with the fact that he doesn't have much expeirence outside me, is really starting to give me second thoughts about marriage. Can you really let someone go that you love so deeply so that they can gain expeirence with other people? It would break my heart so much, but I'm getting nervous thinking that this may be the first step to his curiosity of what it'd be like with other people later on...Is this something to be concerned over?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): I don't think you have to be concerned. Everyone has fantasies about other people. Imaginary people or even real people (like movie stars or whatever.)Or even watching porn is normal, that's a fantasy. That's normal.
When it becomes not okay is when he acts on the fantasies in some way. For example, he somehow obtains a naughty picture of another woman he knows. Or starts going online looking for cyber-sex. Or actually goes out and finds women to have sex with. Those are the times when it is not just a fantasy but comes into reality.
A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 No way do you let him sleep with someone else - don't even consider it... And he's not actually said he wants to sleep with other people, or has he?
it's quite normal for men to fantasie about other women. I'd rather not hear about it though thank you very much! Same as I doubt most men would like to hear about how we quite fancy the diet coke man or brad Pitt!
But men do think about it they can't help it, I think it's quite natural - bit to consider actually doing it, or doing it - no, a decent man will never even consider it! I think he may feel quilty and is trying to off load the guilt, be tough say it's ok you think about it, but even consider it and... Up to you your consequences
Don't stress he loves you, he wants you and the other women are just a fantasy
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