A
female
age
36-40,
*allushka
writes:me and my boyfriend are in a relationship since 1 and half years. things got worse.we fought over some issues. and now he says, he wants space. i begged n cried but no use.he is really upset and wanted to break-up instead but since he doesn't want to end it on a bad note, he is not breaking up right now.he said that i m not supposed to text him or call him unless n untill he calls me.if i call him, he will break-up at the very moment. he is deeply hurt and has lost all hope to get back that loving relationship and the spark. so if ever he feels that he wants to try another time he will call. now what do i expect?? will he ever call back?? or have i lost him forever??i check my cellphone, facebook, mailbox millions of times but there is no reply anywhere. i check his facebook activites and feel bad to see him conversing with his other friends. how should i stop being paranoid??
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 You need to use reverse psychology to win him back.
Don't cling onto him, text him or show any outward sign that you are suffering because of him
You need to put on an act and let him see that you are happy without him and having the fun of your life.
The more you beg him or crawl back to him,the more he will heap coal on your head.
A
female
reader, cherelle  +, writes (4 April 2010):
this guy sounds like a complete waste of time!!.... Your not 'allowed' to contact him unless he contacts you?!...no...thats wrong!.... Hes completly controlling the situation and he knows that if he calls and wants you back, ul go running!!!.... My advice to you petal would be to forget about him (i know its easier said than done) and move on!.... He wants his cake and wants to eat it too!.... Its almsot like hes seeing if he can find something better...and if he doesnt, he will call you?...yoi should never be second best!.... So forget him, spend lots of time with family, friends and keep busy...every day will get easier!.... I recently split with my bf and he wants 'time' so my look out is.... Move on and if he contacts me... Ill deal with that when and if it happens, if not then i know im in the process of moving on without getting myself more hurt! Ever need to chat.... Send me a message!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010): i was just wondering what were the reasons of your split. you don't have to tell me. if it was your fault then give him space and wait (i mean wont do any good if u become a stalker). if it was his fault then he sounds like a total ass ( leave/forget about him). till that time hang out with your girl friends. make other buddies.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 Sometime you've got to be cruel to be kind and I am afraid that yr bf did not have the courage to do just that.He wanted to break up ,but unwilling to deal with your hurt - and with a lot of begging,cryng and drama- he has ,instead, put you on hold - probably with the hope that sooner or later you'll get over him. So : you are banned from contacting him in any way. He goes on with his life but if, at same unknown point in time, he will change his mind, and will get the "spark " back,... he will let you know . How kind and considerate of him.
I guess he did not mean it ,but he's torturing you. He's putting you through a lot of mental anguish - all that checking and waiting for a message that never comes... I feel it must be hell for you. Wouldn't it have been simpler and clearer if he had said : I am leaving you NOW, I can't exclude I'll change my mind and come back to you, but I can't promise that, so you'd better try to move on , and in case I want you back- I'll be the one risking rejection.
But he didn't. He's more convenient for him just to keep you hanging- and maybe keeping you as his plan B. Or C. Or D.
And even if he'd call you back ? Honey, this is a flawed relationship anyway. When people have issues, they talk them through, they mediate, they compromise . It's too easy to say - Ok, don't talk to me, don't bother me,stay out of my way - and if I want I'll have you back. This is not a relationship between equals- there's a tremendous unbalance of "power".
I know it's useless to tell you not to check your e-mails ,your facebook page, etc- because you'll keep doing it even if you know it hurts. All I can suggest you is to keeep yourself busy busy busy- try something even phisically demanding, like take up an extreme sport, or clean up all yr. place from the basement to the attic. Get TIRED- so you'll have the least possible time to obsess over your computer.
Good luck !
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