A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make some changes/progress. I am a college student and I hang out at this coffee shop frequently but haven't been able to make friends, I go to the gym at school about three times a week but nobody there wants to talk with me. I am 23but I don't really drink much. I have been considering going to a bar to meet people but I'm not sold on the idea. As stated I was wondering if any guys have done this? I also don't really know how people interact at bars (if they go with friends and stick with those friends, if they go with dates, do strangers even interact with each other). Any thoughts on the idea are appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): get involved in volunteer activities - there people HAVE to interact with each other if they are to be working together for a common cause. find a cause that you feel passionate about so that it really is interesting to you whether or not you immediately hit it off with other people. Are you interested in saving the environment? what about helping the homeless? or helping animals? there's tons of non-profits out there that desperately need "boots on the ground" volunteers, it's a great way to meet like-minded people and it provides a setting for interaction to begin with and from there you get to know other people and can make friends at your own pace.
I've never been one to just go to bars just to meet people, to me that is too contrived that it just feels superficial and fake. but maybe that's just me.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 I've been bartending at night-clubs for years now and I'll tell you this... the guys who drink the least are the most successful with women, hands down. Though in saying that, the guys who drink the least are often the most centered and self-confident.
There's no rules in a club, you interact with whomever you choose to and you don't need friends to do that... yeah it can help sometimes- but it can also be a crutch. The most adventurous nights are the ones where you go by yourself and meet people on your own merits. As long as you're having fun and that comes across- strangers are more than happy to talk to you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Why not try to join some social clubs? Take up a sport or a hobby is a good way of meeting new people. Personally I know quite a few guys who would go to a pub on there own. Its good that you are looking at different options, so in my opinion its worth a shot you have nothing to lose.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 March 2012):
Why not try to join some social clubs? Take up a sport or a hobby is a good way of meeting new people. Personally I know quite a few guys who would go to a pub on there own. Its good that you are looking at different options, so in my opinion its worth a shot you have nothing to lose.
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