A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:At first it was a crush, I know, but after a year I feel as if I really love him and it's ruining my life!I can't go anywhere, do anything or talk to anyone without him always being in my head. I'm 16 and he's 40, but I don't even see that. I just love everything he does, everything, his smile and his frown and his face and even his handwriting!He's got kids and he's really lovely and moral and I know better than to 'try' anything because he's not that kind of person. We talk about things and I've talked to him when I've been upset before but during that time I just feel like he's a friend rather than a massive crush/love, but when I'm not with him I go back to crushing on him all over again. It's only when I'm with him I don't feel this massive longing to see him (obviously because I'm there already) so if it makes sense, I go to talk to him a lot because that's the only time I'm free of my ''obsession''. My friends call it that but only two of them know :/I've asked this somewhere else and people were horrible. They said stuff like 'eww' and 'date somebody your own age' but how can I love a boyfriend when I'm so ''obsessed'' with my poor teacher? I'd give anything to not fancy him :( people don't understand I can't help it.I just need to know what to do to move on. I've got to do something because I want my life back without thinking of him every single second! Can anyone help?When I'm with him I don't even want to ''be'' with him even if I do think he's really handsome. I just want to be his friend and just talk and talk and talk to him because he's really smart and I just like being in his company more than anything.Sorry if this makes no sense I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): Hi there! When I was in high school I had the most intense crush on a guy in my grade. I can’t even remember how it started, I just realised one day that I was completely in love with him. I am gay, that was hard enough to deal with. It was even harder to tell a guy that I was in love with him.I remember being obsessed with him day and night. I daydreamed about him and longed to be near him. I even rode past his house on the way to and from school for the chance to see him. I really felt that it was true love.I was very shy and never told him how I felt. I would go out of my way to be close to him. But we never really talked.All through high school I kept my little secret. The feelings grew stronger every day. I would be depressed on weekends when I couldnt see him, and ecstatic every time I saw him in the corridors at school. It was really a see-saw of emotion.In my senior year the feelings were so strong that I began to neglect my grades. I was constantly depressed and single minded in my thoughts of him. There was no way I could stop the emotions I felt.At the end of school I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt. I remember crying when I wrote the words. My feelings were so strong and overpowering. I was torn apart by thoughts of rejection and overjoyed by the thought that by some remote chance he felt the same way.I finally handed him the letter one afternoon and he stood beside me while he read it. I look back at that day now with the memories so vivid. I can’t believe how mature he was for a 17 year old. He was so comforting and understanding as he read the words. When he was finished he hugged me and we sat down to talk. He understood how I felt and what the anguish of all those years had been like for me.He didnt feel the same. There was never going to be a relationship there for me. But finally at least he knew how I felt. And that thought alone made me feel a little bit better.I went to college. Moved to a different city. Got a job. Married my husband. Adopted two lovely puppies!I am 32 years old now. I still remember that guy in every detail. I think I still love him.I can’t tell you how to stop a crush. But I can tell you I completely understand what it feels like. I don’t think many people can comprehend the emotional repsonse. Unless you have felt what it is like, you can not understand.Please stay positive. Don’t let it take you over completely. The feelings will only pass when they’re ready to.Learn from the feelings. Many years later I began to feel the same way toward a friend of mine. I knew the early signs and put an end to the feelings before they became obsessive. I would never want to go through a crush again.I hope it helps to hear someone elses perspective. Chin up darling and best of luck.-R
A
male
reader, Psychology101 +, writes (7 June 2010):
Its going to take time to move one. your underage, so nothing can happen, wait until you are 18 and see how you feel then.. if you need anything else let me know.
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A
female
reader, swordandredrose +, writes (18 May 2010):
I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. I am in love with one of my teachers. He is like 50 and I am 18! I have been thinking about him 24/7 for the last 4 months. I always go to him and talk to him just to "be" with him. I have tried flirting with him and everything but it didn't work. Because to him I am just a silly high school girl. I love him so much: his smile, his eyes, his values, his voice, everything! I do have to admit that he is not a handsome man but to me he is handsome. He has got no kids and he is single but I know that it is not that easy to get him. Just like you I don't really know what to do about this situation. Now obviously you are asking yourself why is this girl writing for? Well, I am just writing so that you know that you are not alone. I honestly feel so lonely most of the times because I feel like I am the only person among my friends who is attracted to an "old man". Only a few of my friends know about this and they don't want to talk about it because they think that I am stupid and weird. I can't have a boyfriend and I can't even kiss a guy because I am only thinking about this man. I can't imagine myself being with someone other than him.
Message me if you want. You are not alone.
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