A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Guys, please help me out with this. Ladies, I know you'll have great pearls of wisdom too! My partner and I have been in a relationship for 18 months now, and I feel that he may have lost a bit of his interest in me. He said that he is not an overly expressive or emotional man, but when we first met he was passionate, attentive, sharing his feelings with me, holding and touching me and basically just showing me that he wants me.I feel that the excitement has gone (and I know this happens over time) and that i have become a bit "routine" in his life. He shows me less physical and emotional intimacy (less touching and spontaeous hugging and kissing... unless it's going to lead to sex) and says that this is how he has always been. He denies how full-on he was when we met (?)Hence, I'd like to know how to re-spark his interest - how do i get the grrrrr back? Although I kept things quite interesting at the start and didn't give him everything he wanted from word go (hence keeping the mystery alive?), we have over time spent more and more time together and moved in together 5 months ago. For many personal and practical reasons, I have spent most time at home - hence mostly always around and available when he needs me. Although I know this is wrong!!I feel that because of that, he has lost a bit of what drew him to me in the first place, as I know (and believe) that men (and women!!) appreciate something more when it feels unattainable.I know he loves me and wants to be with me (he tells me), and he shows me his love in other ways (slapping me on the bum, cuddles at night, taking me to great restaurants because he knows I love them), so I don't doubt that. But (I'm a woman!) and so .... my questions remain:- How do I continue keep his interest, without playing games? - How do i get him to show more affection, without being a nagging pain in the proverbial. - When does a man get bored/over the 'chase'?- Can he truly love and respect me if I didn't play completely hard to get in the start? We slept together after three months, but our r/ship was intense and full on from the start.... mostly from his side. But me too... i.e. we spent heaps of time together, he told me early on I'm the one etc etc?But i feel that because over time I have now always been around, attentive and caring, and giving.... his interest has dipped....?? Is this possible?Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
kissing, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): Hi. You say you are at home alot. You probably have too much time to think about things. Is `just being there` like a stick of furniture making you feel a bit predictable and boring? And you are projecting that on to him. Just a thought.
What you might see as lack of intense interest is just him settling down in a happy way. The chase is great but it becomes exhausting and onces hes caught you....he can relax. You could make things peak again but without playing games im not sure how. Its all emotional stuff and he cant just flip a switch and become your ardent lover again without some stimulation. Which he had before because be honest..wasnt it a game when you first met and held out, while he pursued you like a man possessed? They need stimulation to do that and a goal.
He sounds a pretty good partner to me. But if you feel somethings lacking, talk to him. Maybe try role play games with his consent. But i think its a self worth problem you are dealing with and if you can get yourself busy in other areas that reward you, things will improve for you x
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 January 2010):
This is kind of a natural thing. The initial excitement is gone, now comes real life where both you and your boyfriend have to put effort in. The problem is that you've always been there for him, and he's kind of got used to it. So re-evaluate your own life and just play a bit harder to get again. Also, like all men your boyfriend will probably not be able to see how you feel. So tell him you're a bit worried and would like to have more fun and intimacy together. You are right, he does love you. He's just become a little bit complacent. So start going out on a few dates, make a point of taking his hand and holding it outside and such.
...............................
|
