A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I first became sexually active with my current boyfriend, it was really easy to make him cum though sex, oral or by hand. But 8 months later and its a lot harder too. Obviously he still does, but it takes a lot longer.At first I thought it was because we have sex quite a bit, say 4-5 times a week. But also i was the first person he slept with, and properly did anything with really, so could it be that he is more used to stimulation from someone else aside from himself now?Or could it be he's just grown used to the stuff we do? Or is he just used to me?Sometimes it's a bit frustrating, I havent mentioned it to him as i don't want to put him under any pressure :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Hi, Thanks for your advice.
I don't mind how long it takes during sex; Our sex is pretty creative most of the time also.
Justmainly just during oral.I dont mind taking however long it takes to make him happy, I've just been wondering.
I took advice and asked him, and he said he just isn't as sensitive as he first was when he had never really done anything with other girl, but he still enjoys it as much as he first did :)
A
male
reader, honest_human +, writes (19 December 2010):
Never heard of a complaint that a guy lasts too long. Experiment, its normal. On top of a desk, him holding you against a wall, nutella...etc.
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A
female
reader, preciouscrash  +, writes (19 December 2010):
I do think the first thing you should do is mention it to him. You can be missing out on the best sex life of all time just because your hesitent in speaking with him about this. Trust me when I say you must speak with your partner about everything always. Never hold anything back, that is how trust builds, proper communication is in tact and of course it is just plain respectful which are the key components to any relationship. Talk to the guy and see where it goes from there. It will only get better and don't be shy to say ANYTHING!
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (19 December 2010):
Well you would have to be more specific about how long it USED to take him to orgasm and how long it does now.
Maybe at the start he was basically coming too quickly [ that's what most women complain about ] and now he's taking a 'normal' time.
Although of course these things vary a whole lot and various factors come into play [ esp eg how long since last had sex ] I would say anything between 10 and 20 mins is 'normal' - but if he takes longer is that a bad thing ?
Aren't you enjoying it inside you all that time ?
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (19 December 2010):
 Its just that his body is more used to it now. If all guys came as quickly as there first couple of times, girls would never have any pleasure
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Do you think there is any physical problem here? With his functioning?
I know that men who have been married long, even if they cease to be interested in emotionally and/or excited by them socially or visually... continue to be able to "complete the act", even if they don't enjoy it as much as they used to. Men are virile and "made to function"... unless age or some physical or psychological problem starts getting them down. Don't get a pun from that, please.
If it's not a physical or psychological problem (a mental block may keep him from 'coming'), I guess it is possible he is a little bored, if you tend to do the same sorts of things over and over... try switching up your routine, getting more creative or staying fairly uncreative but just.. doing different things. Try to keep him interested and make sure he's putting in effort to keep you interested as well. Make sure you are both comfortable with the things you are trying, to keep yourselves as turn-on- able as possible.
-Tante Vic
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