A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend over 6 years now, hes 28 im 24 we have lived together for a year. He has become distant, doesnt make much effort these days, i also found a text on his phone saying to his friend 'Any excuse to get away from the missus haha'. Hes out most friday with work friends, then i find out the people he goes with sometimes bring there partners or friends, but i don't get a invite. He also got a fish tank and now spends hours cleaning it etc every week. I just don't know if he has fallen out of love with me and is just putting up with this as its easier then breaking up with me.
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female
reader, eternallyinfinite  +, writes (30 August 2011):
From what you have written, it sounds like your relationship is in a bit of a rut. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel like he's being distant, or that you feel like he isn't putting in much effort recently?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): I say the first thing you need to do is sit down with him and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and gauge his response. I find that in general when a man doesn't care any more he will be dismissive of your feelings. He may get angry and blame you, this is your fault for this or that. He may say you're being "too sensitive" and you just need to deal with the fact that he likes going with friends or whatever. He might say you're a nag and smothering, etc. Just be prepared. Just be calm and firm and be honest about how you feel, don't be blaming or defensive. (I know that's hard,) but this is really just to see how he responds. After it is over give it a few days and see if there is any change in his behavior. If not, I say that it is very possible he's just sticking around out of familiarity. If on the other hand he listens and discusses it with you then you can work on it together. This is a very tough situation. I'm sorry you are going through it. :(
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