A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'll keep things simple.I met this guy a few years ago. We got along really well and I started to like him as more than just a friend(but I never told him how I felt). He said he liked me and wanted me to give him a chance. Life got in the way and we never got in contact with each other until two weeks ago when we randomly bumped into each other.One night when we were talking he said sorry to me. I asked him what for because he hadn't done anything to me. His reply was back then when he said he liked me and asked me to give him a chance that he was just playing me, that he was a player back then, and he has changed his ways since then.I dodged a bullet! And I am thankful that I never gave him a hint that I felt something for him all those years ago.So after knowing what he told me that night I decided to be more reserved around him and that is not in me to be reserved, i'm pretty much up-beat, flirty, and fun.He took noticed and asked me why I was behaving in that manner. I just shrugged my shoulders and didn't give a reply. So out of the blue he starts saying things like I wasn't his type, that we are just strictly friends whenever someone mention that we make a cute couple. (No worries there i wasn't hurt when he made those statements because he isn't my type nor do i like him in a romantic kind of way.)However one night last week he says he is infatuated with me and that he was sorry for saying the things he said because it was a defense mechanism because he was letting me get to close to him.Is he still up to his old tricks again because I'm not falling for his bulls**t? Because honestly i do not need those stupid games being played.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 November 2015):
 So on top of you not really being all that interested he is ignoring what you say ( no thanks, but we can be friends) and keeps trying to "change" your mind.... Yes, that is another red flag.
I know there are guy out there who think that the way to get a girl to date them is being persistent - that means.. ignore that she says no and keep asking... To me that is lack of respect for the woman, not being persistent.
Anyways, if you are interested in someone else, cut this one off.. you can block him, delete his number and ignore him. You don't owe him squat.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Mina_Bhamji, I already know the reason without asking him because I just didn't care why he changed. He said the reason for it is because he fell for a woman who ended up playing him. He changed because he realized it was what he did with women and he felt badly about it.To Honeypie, I thought it was him playing a game but I wasn't really sure. And while you would think the attention he is giving me would be flattering, well.....it isn't! I'm completely turned off by this guy that I do not find it flattering what-so-ever. Also I don't think it is possible to be just friends with this guy because I made it clear i was interested in someone else and I consider him as just a friend but yet he continues to ask me out, says how much he likes me etc. Getting rather annoying.And by the way, the part about me being interested in someone else is true, that wasn't a lie to let him down gently in case he was being serious about being a changed man. But as it looks i think he is still the player that he still is.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 November 2015):
I'd skip this one.
And I'll tell you why.
He has repeatedly told OTHER people in front of you that YOU are not his type and when he got no reaction from that other than a shrug, he dialed it up a notch - now he claims that is he infatuated with you and the "putting you down" (the You are not his type) is a defense mechanism... It's bull-corn! It's "gameplay" - he is playing "woe is me" I now have feelings for you...
He is setting it up so when he knows he has you, he can pull a "I can't get close to you" thing.
You say you aren't romantically attracted to him and that he is not your type - so why bother? Stick to being friends (if he is capable of that) and find a guy who doesn't depend on "gameplay" for courting a woman. This guy doesn't KNOW how to be a BF, he knows how to seduce a girl and leave her.
While I'm sure you feel flattered by his attentions, make sure you KNOW what you want and don't let the "ego rubs" make you think he actually cares deeply.
And it's been 2 WEEKS since you two got back in touch and he is infatuated? Bull-corn!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis was when we met a few years back that I liked him. I got over my feelings for him due to having no contact until two weeks ago when we bumped into each other.
Over the years I've changed and I've become slightly more mature when it comes to men. Hence why I do not like this guy now.
I've asked this question because if he is playing a game then its something i'm not interested in doing and therefore will cut contact with this guy.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 November 2015):
 IF you are pulling back, then IMO he sees this as a game and his goal is to win the game. That means getting you...bedding you and moving on.
you say in the same post:
" I started to like him as more than just a friend"
and then: "he isn't my type nor do i like him in a romantic kind of way."
so if you don't like him in a romantic sort of way...then what's the issue?
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A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (10 November 2015):
 For a guy to admit after all those years that he was a player, it seems like he might be a changed man. No point admitting where you went wrong if you still do it right? Ask him what's the reasons to why he's changed, dig a little deeper. There's always a reason to why someone changes. But still, be wary. Don't dig yourself deeper without finding out how he is as a person now, you'll be able to feel if someone is being genuine or not
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