A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please guys I dont want any negative comments,Okay, I have known this guy for about 6 years online, and we developed feelings for each other, I love him, and he loves me.Problem is I lied about my identity (name and race, but, he has seen me on webcam, so he does know what I look like) I did this to protect my self initally, I was about 16/17 when I first met him on an online chatroom, and originally I thought that it would be nothing but someone who could entertain me when I am bored, therefore I didnt need do diclose anything, besides, I dont trust anyone I met on the internet, nor would I ever meet anyone off the internet!But I fell in love, hard! I honestly didnt want to, and now I am stuck wondering whether I should tell him the truth, or cut him out completely? I tried cutting him out several times! But I always end up missing him, I am too weak to let him go, but lying to him is driving me crazy! I just wanna know, if anyone here has been lied to by an online love, and whether they got over that and got to know the "real" person, or just cut them out completely??I just don't want to lose him, What should I doooo!? I feel sick to my stomach about it,
View related questions:
chat room, fell in love, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Millad  +, writes (6 January 2012):
Let me tell you something. I met my love online 7 years ago. I lied to her right left and centre. My race religion even my face because in the beginning it was all a joke. We both fell for each other hard. So hard I had no guts to tell her the truth cuz leaving her would mean killing myself and would also mean her maybe dying too... To keep these secrets hidden I completely lost my mind.. I didn't even go and meet her and made up million excuses in the book just so I can avoid hurting her myself and our relationship. Love makes us crazy doesn't it?.... At the end u wanna know something funny? She was so in love with this heart of mine and that random guys face....... My heart was now just a liar to her.. I prayed to god shefound peace somehow... And that guy with my face started to talk to her. I somehow found him and got him to talk to the love of my life. I pray to god things work out. I have and always will love her. And as for yourself.... Gotta tell the truth my friend and the rest leave it to him. After all... Love is sacrifice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): Just tell him the truth now and apologise. You were right not to give out your real information to begin with. Its better to have to apologise for a lie than to put yourself at risk by giving out your personal informatioin to strangers. Which im afraid he still is in a sense, since you have no idea if he has also been lying about anything.
...............................
A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 I suggest that you come clean with him and give him some time to digest whatever you tell him ... he will definitely feel hurt when he finds out that he was lied to by some1 that he was so much in love with .... and he will find it hard to accept it for a while ... give him some time to get over it and if he truly loves you he will apologize to you and say it doesn't matter ... The worst scenario he will stop talking for a while coz he is confused and is having a tough time dealing with it or he will ask you the question why? repeatedly coz he is feeling hurt ... Just make sure that he sees that you are truly sorry for what happen ... and that something of this sort will never happen again between you two... it should be mutual. .. If he loves true, he will be with you if not then move onn... he is not worth it ... I was cheated by a woman online I was 100% honest with her ... she left me :( coz she was already with some1 who can offer financial security...
...............................
A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (11 April 2011):
I've recently been cheated on by a girl online...Yes it was an online relationship. I'm never gonna do anything like that again. She found someone "in real life" but kept talking to me for a few weeks. In that period I sent her a letter saying such nice things...but she already knew it was gonna end. I found out the hard way when I saw some "love comments" with her current bf... This girl seemed super nice, very lighthearted and stuff, but I found out it's not really that way.Chances are he's lied to you as well. You cannot love someone you have never met. You don't know how he really is and viceversa. Instead of telling him the truth, cut it off and get distracted with some real nice dudes. Go out and keep away from the computer. Watch a movie, read a book, watch TV, go out ride your bike for no reason with no destination, and etc. Keep yourself distracted and eventually you will not find the need to contact him again.
...............................
A
female
reader, WishAlot +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Im in a LDR too....and he lied to me. I met him when I was just turning 18 and at the time he said he was 21 and also said that the name i met him under was his real name.As things got more serious between us (he was just someone to talk to in the beginning) we added each other on msn and his name was different so obviously I questioned this.In time I think I was 19 at this point and I had found out his real name but also came accross a youtube video he was in and realised the dates and questioned them so he confessed and said he was actually 18.Then again later I saw a picture on his mums FB and yet again those dates didnt add up so i asked again to find out he was actually 17.So I met this guy when he was 15 and he told me he was 21...at the current moment im still with him and im 21 and hes gonna be 19 in september. The reason he did it was because in the first place u had to be 18 to play the game and him saying he was 21 no-one would question but once he gained feelings for me he figured I wouldnt give him the time of day knowing he was 16 when I was 18/19. Which is true, so I can see why he did it...he wanted me.I forgave him because I grew to love him dearly and now I cant live without him and I dont care about the age...so Im sure if you tell him and explain your reasons he'll understand =) If he truly loves you he'll get over it, maybe wont like the idea he was lied to but there is good reasoning behind it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): I've known the love of my life for five years, and we met online as well. I lied to him about my name and didn't tell him until a year later. He's forgiven me because I had reasons to doubt him. Try it, see where it takes you. If he's incapable of forgiveness, chances are, he's not the right one. But be open about it. Maybe he needs some time to process that he's been lied to.
...............................
|
