A
female
age
30-35,
*opaigexo
writes:Why does everyone say that a relationship with a huge age difference will never work? I have been dating Greg for 6 months, I will be 20 next month and he is 32. EVERY ONE always says that he is only in it for the sex yet our relationship is NOT by any means based on sex. We get along great, we have fun hanging out with each other, we have a lot of the same interest and we just really like each other. BUT both of our families and many of our friedns say it will never work becasue of the age difference, do you think this is true. Has anyone out there had a relationship work out that involved an age difference of 10+ yrs. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xopaigexo +, writes (23 August 2010):
xopaigexo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, yes I do find that I am always defending our relationship and because I dont want to go through life doing this is the main reason why I asked this question. I too have been thinking a lot about what a few of you mention about us being at different parts of our lives, it isnt something that we have really talked about before but I do plan on bringing it up now. We need to be on the same page if we plan on being together.
As for TimmD - just because he chooses to be in a relationship with a younger person doesnt mean he has issues. We started out as friends and things grew from there, neither one of us every excepted to find ourselves having true feeling for each other.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): My mum was 25 when she met my dad. He was 45. They've been together 25 years. It can work. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I have before. In fact my daughters dad is 31. I'm 20. It worked fine for 2 yrs then we both knew it wasn't going to work. Ny dad didn't like it but he got over it. I lived with him til we ended it. Now I don't see myself with someone that much older. If you think in your heart it will work then hey go for it and love him. He will always think in his head you will leave him for a younger guy your age!
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reader, TimmD  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Everybody is telling you it won't work out because more times then not... it won't. This doesn't mean you two aren't compatible on a basic level. You two may get along great. The biggest problem a relationship like that consists of is where each of you are in your life. A 20 year old is usually in a MUCH different place in their life than a 32 year old. The 32 year old is more likely thinking about settling down, having a family. Big problems in their life include making mortgage payments, etc. A 20 year old usually isn't thinking about settling down or having kids yet. They may be in college and like to go out more and have fun with other people their age.
This difference in where each of you are in your life doesn't stop either. When you are 30, he'll be 42. When you are 40, he'll be 52, etc. Your automatic response is going to be to defend your relationship, and I don't blame you. But too many times people defend their relationship without thinking it through. You are so set on making it work, you don't really consider whether or not you SHOULD make it work.
No offense intended at all here, but I'm in my early 30s. I honestly don't think I'd be able to be in a relationship with a 20 year old girl. I may be attracted to them, but there's more to a relationship then simple attraction. There is a maturity that comes at different stages with age. I thought I was mature for a 15 year old only to realize when I was 20 that I was not mature. Same thing for when I was 20. I thought I was mature for a 20 year old until I got to 30. You may think we are just cranky older people who don't understand you, but believe us... we've all been there. We speak from experience. But the fact that this 32 year old guy is willing to have a relationship with a 20 year old girl COULD mean he has some issues of his own and is worth being cautious about.
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 August 2010):
Everyone says it because the majority of the time, it's true. I'm in a relationship with an older woman, so I know sometimes it can work out. But more often than not, they don't work out. That's basically why people say it won't work out. You only have to look on this site and read about age gap relationships where more often than not they've gone wrong. Of course, that doesn't mean yours will. You're happy together, you have things in common, so just focus on your relationship and prove others wrong. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, then it doesn't.
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reader, johnny angel +, writes (23 August 2010):
 hi there
if you get on with greg then age shouldt be a problem sometimes people think that this big an age gap will cause problems because your to young to understand the responsability u have for the relationship or that someone a lot older will chet not always the case i myself am in a relationship where i am older though not by this much but if you care about each other and get on all the better hope youstay together
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