A
female
age
30-35,
*dgjl09
writes:My BF who I love and care for a lot is studying to become a Geologist and work in the mines. This will require him to be away for long periods of time. But then have quite a bit of time of as well. He has a couple of times tried to convince me to study the same thing as him so I can get a job like him too. But thinking long term as one day I would like to have a base and have kids... a long time into the future mind you... has put me off studying this as I would like something that does not require me to leave home for long periods of time. Although I hope we are together for many years to come time will only tell. I spose I am just wondering if anybody else has gone through something similar in regards to choosing their life path or partner. Although I am sure I would do fine I am not 100% sure If I would like being home with kids for weeks on end... but im sure if you loved the person enough it could work out. I am no where near this yet as I am still only 21 but would love some insight if you have had experience in a similar situation. Thank you! =)
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Never choose a field of study if it is not something you truly want to do and are in love with. It takes long enough to endure school in order to achieve a degree so you should never pick something simply because another person expects you to follow their path. If you're heart is not into it, don't pick it. You have to decide for yourself what you really want to do and not plan your degree on someone else's. I know people who have done this and then almost always end up going back to school later and enduring another 2-3 years to get something they really wanted in the first place.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2011): My dream for as long as I can remember has been to travel.Next year, for all of next year, I will be working abroad and traveling. I have a steady boyfriend, who is amazing. We love each other very much.He currently owns his own business and wants to spend time setting that up so that he can one day retire early.It breaks my heart, but I know at the end of this year, we will be over. Long distance will not be an option because when I go I don't want anything tying me down or holding me back.Him joining me is not an option as he needs to set up his business, and again, I don't want anything to hold me back.Me staying behind is not an option, next year is my only chance to do this and because I've dreamed of it for so long I know that I will not forgive myself if I don't go. I'd also probably blame him (even though it wouldn't be his fault). It will be SO hard to leave him though.I'd like to believe that when I come back, we'll want each other and be able to be together, but I don't want to tell myself a lie that will break my heart when I get back at the end of next year.That's my experience... I fall somewhere between a realist with my life and an idealist with the rest of the world.Hope that helps :)
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A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Does mine geology inspire some interest in you? If not don't do it for him. In fact, do not make any life altering or heavy investment decision on the basis of someone else. You will end up miserable if you do. No relationship is worth it. A delightful lady I went to high school with has been married for 10 years and has 2 kids. Her husband's job requires him to travel extensively sometimes out of the country. He could be gone for days at a time sometimes a few weeks. They love each other and get along great - though it gets hard at times. This is the path your BF has chosen as a career and you must decide if you can deal with it and you must be careful not to use your relationship as leverage to influence his decision just as he must avoid doing the same with your life. I would consider the positive side to all this. The time apart could make the time together that much more sweet. And this could give you ample opportunity to accomplish some personal goals yourself.
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A
female
reader, auntyR +, writes (15 May 2011):
My boyfriend is in the army and there fore is away a lot. But i would never want to join up just so i could be with him more. You have to follow your life and your career plans but make space and time for each other when you can. We make our relationship work by making sure we talk to each other everyday and see each other when we can. Yeah it is hard and i do miss him when he is not around, but i would never change my job for him and i wouldn't expect him to change his. As for a life partner, i never think you should plan ahead, just take it as it comes. Don't stress about the future. If you love him and want to be with him you will both work something out. Being apart does not mean it's the end of your romance. trust me!
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