A
female
age
51-59,
*egzzz
writes:Hello everyone!I need opinions on this please!Is there such a thing as lying by omission or is it just flat out lying? If someone doesn't tell you ALL the facts and you find out later is that lying by omission or flat out lying?I'll give you an example: My BF has an ex who lives out of town. She is engaged and has been since they broke up 3yrs ago. He told me they don't talk very often (i found out they do). I also found out (up until a few months ago) she had a credit card of his still, was still on his benefits at work, he has a key to her old apartment and helps her lease it out, he loans her money, anything she asks for he does,(although he says he doesn't). EVERYTIME she comes to town he goes to see her. My BF has met her fiance on several occasions and at her request I have met her. My BF says they are just friends but because he started out by telling me they didn't talk often I now have trust issues with him. I flat out asked him in the beginning is there more to this story with her than you're telling me? and his answer to my face was NO! Since than i have found out all this stuff!He treats me amazing and we are together everyday!I'm confused!!!
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female
reader, misskat  +, writes (13 July 2011):
Why doesn't she ask her fiance for money?! This is totally absurd and you have every right to be upset. Watch them when they are hanging out. Are they making goo goo eyes? Do they have inside jokes? I would evaluate the dynamics between them. I would also have a serious talk with him. The key thing is also concerning. I agree with the other comment that you may get very hurt in the end. Its better to deal with the pain now than later
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): Wow!' @ the first response that is exactly what I said to him!! Because I never got the truth from the beginning I never got to choose if I wanted to be in a relationship with him and his ex and girl friend from work I might add!!! And that choice would have been NO!!! And yes now I have feelings for him which is making it very hard!! There are actually a few woman in his life that I wasn't informed completely about and had I been I would NOT be with him right now!! Of course his response is always the same "they are all just friends"!! Now to clarify one thing I don't believe and never have that he is sleeping with any of them. However the omission of facts and the constant EVERYDAY contact with some of them is just to much for me!! Thank you for your opinions and advice it is greatly appreciated!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): In my opinion he lied flat out to you. Probably because he didn't want you running for the hills because if you REALLY think about it. He is still maintaining a relationship with his ex. As such, over time your relationship with him might start to feel a little crowded because he is still tied to this woman in various ways. Lying to you won't have helped because it will make his motives for having so much to do with her, appear rather suspicious.
If he had been up front from the start and told you everything. Then you could have made an informed choice about whether dating him was something you were comfortable with. But he didn't. Instead he drip fed you the truth in an underhanded way. Probably hoping to secure your feelings first, making it harder for you to 'want out' later on. In my experience with someone similar, as that is how he approaches truth telling, more information could be filtered down to you over a long period of time. So hold on to your hat for more surprises as time goes by!
He might treat you amazingly but he did lie. Many liars are also very charming, that's how they get away with it, so do take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): Well its very nice that he treats you amazing but he is lying and giving you plenmty of reason not to trust him.
I fear this man and his ex are taking liberties with you. He should be spending his money on you, paying all his attentuion to you and putting you first, instead this other women is being treated like the spouse and I wonder why?
Are you sure he is over her? They're relationship doesn't sound too platonic to me and I fear if you carry on with this man you will get hurt.
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