A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband just came home from a 2 week business trip. I noticed the Internet history on his laptop was full of porn including a site called " F@$ and k women locally" and it gave a web address of our home city. I was so shocked when I went to look at some other sites I accidentally cleared the history. II know everyone says it's normal for a man to look at porn but I thought he was happily married. I feel shocked and a little disgusted. Do I need to worry he's actually going to cheat???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): If it's bothering you, then you should have a talk with him about it. Don't confront him as doing something wrong, just ask if this is something he likes to do and have a discussion about how you feel about it. If this is the first time this has ever come up in your marriage, I can understand and appreciate your shock and concern.The oldest excuse in the book, "all men look at porn". Not true. There are many men (happily married men) who have a lot more going on in their life like family, kids, long hour jobs, social life, sports, etc. that it's not a part of their life at all, so don't believe that crap or buy into anyone telling you to "get over it". Men who hide porn from their spouses only hurt their relationship when all is said and done. It is a huge cause of relationships falling apart when one partner is against it for whatever reason and the person doing it doesn't respect them enough to just leave it alone and find something else to fill their time. This is your first experience with this, so work it out gently and figure out how you really feel about it all and what you expect, will accept or not accept. What are the boundaries...make them clear.Watching porn "typically" does not lead to physically cheating on your partner, it's just a loop hole men find to aid in self sexual gratification. Your husband was without you and unable to have sex with you for two weeks. It sounds like he wanted to take care of himself and got carried away with a lot of viewing or perhaps that's what he did each night before he went to bed. Who knows, so you should ask him to explain so you can understand. If your sex life is healthy and active, the actual viewing frequency probably isn't a problem. When a man starts using porn over being with their partner, and/or they cannot perform with their partner more often then not, then there is a problem. A big problem. I bet you will be able to work it out when you can sit down and talk about it.
A
female
reader, Dawnielou  +, writes (31 July 2013):
Absolutely, both men and women. Either as a couple or on their own, completely normal and nothing at all to worry about. .
Those adds do pop up trying to entice anyway so he may not even have been looking.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (31 July 2013):
Yes, men and women look at porn, happily married and happily single. Those ads actually pop up--you don't have to click on it and it'll show up on your history.
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A
male
reader, LivingWithBadDecisions +, writes (31 July 2013):
 those ads are everywhere and they are almost as hard to get rid of as an std. he doesnt even have to be on porn for that shit to pop up.
most people watch porn at some point. doesnt mean they arent satisfied with real sex.
you should have an open line of comunication about porn but not a confrontation. then youll know if he chooses porn over sex because he wont be worried to tell you he watches porn.
dont snoop his history and just ask him if hes happy with your sex or if hed like to try something new.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (31 July 2013):
 I hate to break it to you: most guys look at porn -- even those getting sex on a regular basis.
Guys are wired to want variety and pornography provides a convenient way of getting that outlet. Being that he was on a business trip he probably got horny and decided to take care of business. He probably has been doing this for a LOT longer than you think as well.
Perhaps curiosity got the best of him and he followed a link that included your city. Also keep in mind that those porn ads are used to track your location (i.e. your city) and show a link that carries your city name. It doesn't necessary mean that he visited the site -- it was probably an advertisement and an unclicked ad will still show up in the history.
I would certainly keep an eye on this though and if it continues and it seems like he is more preoccupied with virtual sex rather than real sex, it may be necessary for you to broach the subject -- just in case he hasn't been as satisfied as you think.
Eddie
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