A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I am going to try to make this story super short.Basically, I have this best friend of almost 6 years. We are very close, talk to each other about anything, and enjoy each others company. There is also physical attraction that has always been there. He treats me really nice and is an awesome friend. However, we recently ended up having sex. Ever since, things have been awkward. He doesn't text me anymore, nor does he call. I am afraid to text him because I don't know what to say to him. My friends tell me that hes being weird because he likes me and doesn't know how to deal with his feelings now. But that doesn't make sense to me because I see on Facebook that he is talking to his ex girlfriend that he's been on and off with for 3 years. I am not sure what to think, because he hasn't made any move to talk to me, not through text nor facebook, and thats very unusual of him. I don't want to text him and bug him but I really miss my best friend, and want to talk to him. I was hoping that being distant for a while will help us both figure out what we are feeling but I honestly believe that he has no feelings for me. I am not sure, I am just very confused. I have been wanting to call him and text him but I am afraid of rejection. I keep thinking "what if he doesn't answer?" My question is, should I be the one to call him or text him, or should I just wait for him to come around? If I do text him, what should I say?Thank you guys so much, greatly appreciated
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female
reader, MissSpencer  +, writes (3 September 2012):
Best friends do not have sex, other wise well they've crossed the line. I have had somewhat of a similar situation buh only he telling me tha he was in love with me which almost destroyed our friendship because i hated tha, that would destroy our friendship n the real cause for this was tha at the time he had been jus from a bad relationship.I believe that if this guy feels like there is somthng between u guys, he will make the first move-he is the guy afterall right??if u make the first move, txtn or calling, u will end always being the one who sort of runs the relationship and after awhile it will start to bug u that he doesnt make much effort for the relationship.You don seem as concerned about uo having sex with him as much as wether he has feelings for u. It kinda shows tha u like him abit more than he does you because when a guy like a girl he will show her tha he feels a certain way towards her.Its also important to remember tha guys can just have sex with a woman and keep it that way without letting any emotions into it. Things getting wierd could mean that he is not sure if u are goin to ask more from him than he is willing to give..because believe u me, guys think that chicks always get emotionally attached and akward.Just let him decide what he wants. In the meanwhile try not to think about it so much because the more u think of him, his girlfriend on fb n what happened...ur driving yourself to a point of deeper emotional attachment n u will end up resenting him. Remember guys dont think as much about this stuff as we do...its jus how they were wired!Men are Pyhsical...women are emotinal!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 ******I want my friend back I want him to feel he can talk to me even if he doesn't like me romantically I don't care I just want that friendship back and if he does like me romantically, even better! ******
Tell him JUST that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.
You guys are right. Maybe he is feeling the same..but there's reasons to believes he's not. He's never not been able to talk to me about anything so that's where I see a problem. I obviously don't want to text him and sound clingy nor do I know what to say to him.
I really want to talk to him about the situation but how do I know how to even bring it up to him. That's the problem. It's been a month since we have hooked up and although he's talked to me since it's just been different. I want my friend back I want him to feel he can talk to me even if he doesn't like me romantically I don't care I just want that friendship back and if he does like me romantically, even better! My main problem is is that I don't know how to approach him or what to say to even begin talking to him and clear things up... So confused
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 September 2012):
I would call him. Not text. And just tell him how you feel how the situation makes you feel.
It can't really get worse, right?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Maybe you are the reason why they are off. It's not all you though. If their relationship is solid and good then he would not need you to fill the void. I believe some men and women can be friends, but best friends after they have girlfriends or boyfriends, I don't think so. After sex it makes it even harder. His best friend should be his girlfriend. I don't know why you two never pursued a relationship together, maybe something is missing but it is not fair for him to go back and forth between you two to get the best of both of you. A best friend can mean you can talk about anything, but at the end it also means you can stand the test of awkwardness, and can support each other to make the best decisions in life. You too you should be looking for a man who can devote to you in anyway. If you call him or leave a message you should be telling him that you understand and you believe that any decision he makes will be for the best.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (2 September 2012):
You don't say how long it's been since you slept together but clearly this is bugging you and understandably so.
Get in touch with him
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Should you have sex some more with him is your underlying question,,Answer is Nope some proceed from there.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Well after what you have just said don't you think maybe he's probably thinking the same as you? I mean you're friends could be right maybe he's come to realise he has feelings for you but is unsure on how you're going to react and probably is feeling the same way as you with the "oh she hasn't called or text me? Is she ok with me?" where he maybe waiting for you to call or text.If you have no feelings i think you guys should discuss what happened and why it happened? And clear up any mis understandings you guys may have had. I do think you should contact him at least then you'll know what is going on and what to do. If he still wants to be your friend then great if he doesn't then he isn't a friend and obviously feels uncomfortable. But this not texting or calling is going to make things more awkward he's probably feeling embarrassed and feels he's ruined the friendship probably thinking the same as you. Hope this helps please inform me how it turns out :)
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