A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I am not sure what to do about my cousin's boyfriend. He flirts and texts me quite a bit, mainly when he and my cousin argue. He confides in me about the problems they have, about the trust issues, ect. I will admit, he can do way better than my cousin. She is very controlling, insecure, and VERY selfish. He told me the only reason he is still with her is because of their son (And he is not even sure if he's the father!) Although he is a nice guy, I am not interested in him. Even if he wasn't with my cousin, I am just not into him. Never have been and never will be. Sometimes at night he will text me "Goodnight sexy" and at first I laughed it off, but now I noticed he's serious. If I don't text back within a few minutes, he will text again and again until I finally reply. He is always telling me he wants to see me drunk (I don't drink), and it makes me wonder WHY he wants to see me drunk... what is it he wants to do? Maybe I'm making more of it than it is. Anyway, a while back, I spent the day with a male friend of mine, and he got upset and accused me of being more than friends with him. They way I see it, he was just a friend, and even if we were more, it's none of his damn business! He's not my man, my father, ect so I feel that I shouldn't have to answer to him. Honestly, I am starting to get really annoyed with him. We attend the same college and he throws a fit when I talk to the young, handsome advisor. I feel like I'm being watched, and I have asked him about it, and he said he sees me as a little sister and is just trying to look out for me, blah blah blah... I wasn't buying any of it. I don't want to tell my cousin because she is DRAMA. Hardly anyone in the family gets along with her. And knowing her, she'll turn it all around and make me look like the bad person. I don't blame her boyfriend for looking elsewhere for attention, but I just wish it wasn't with me! I am worried that if they were to break up, he'd pursue me, which he kind of already is. I don't feel scared around him, but it's very awkward at times, especially when he talks about sex.What do you think I should do? Thanks in advance!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 September 2012):
 I would tell him to stop texting you from now on, that you don't want to start any drama nor do you find his texts appropriate. If he doesn't stop, block his number.
He doesn't see you as a little sister. Big brothers do NOT flirt with their sisters.
If you are around him in person and can't leave, then change the subject if you don't want to discuss it (like sex) if you can walk away, do so.
If he can't take a hint I would actually tell her.
Your cousin might be a drama queen but no one is holding a loaded gun to his head making him stay with her if she was THAT horrible. There is NO excuse for his behavior. Other then the fact that you are enabling him and he doesn't care what anyone thinks. You can not control HIS behavior, but you CAN control how you interact and react to it. Know what I mean?
A
female
reader, SailorxxMooon  +, writes (2 September 2012):
I think you should tell the boyfriend that his behavior is completely unacceptable, that you dont want to tolerate it and you owe it to your cousin to not to put up with his mixed/suspicious messages he sends to you.
Tell him that if he isnt happy in the relationship he is in right now that he should either work to fix it or break up before he hurts your cousin.
Also ensure you dont send him mixed messages either. Do you occasionally flirt back?
Ensure your contact with him is purely professional in order to prevent a future reoccurrence.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (2 September 2012):
You have to put him in his place, make it clear you're not interested, tell him to back off and don't reply to his texts.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Right well he seems like a total slimeball i mean he shouldn't be with someone just because of a child that isn't a good atmosphere for the child to grow up in and especially when he is talking to you about certain things that he really shouldn't be. He seems very controlling himself by making out that you are not allowed to speak to your guy friends even if you are with that guy it has nothing to do with him what you do. I'd stay well clear from him change your number i would also talk to someone in your family about it because he doesn't seem a safe guy. He wants to see you drunk to try and take advantage probably i assume he knows you do not drink therefore one drink and you may already be drunk or tipsy and in his eyes vulnerable and easy to take advantage of.If he isn't happy with your cousin for whatever reason then he needs to sort that relationship out and leave you alone because it isn't fair. Whether or not your cousin causes drama i think it'd be better than you having all of this going on with you because the longer that this goes on the worse it'll make for you.You must tell someone what is happening because he seems like he is trying to control who you are with and what you are meant to be doing. He cannot get upset with you if you don't text him because it isn't a right you have to text him.I hope this helps you out.
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