A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 and my boyfriends 19. He still doesnt want to have sex and i do. We did it once but he doesnt wanna do it again till he is married. I want it so bad all the time, its all i think about when im with him. I just want to do it. I need help to stop thinking about it.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): CooListic Kid has it summed up very well - I would DIG DEEPER here. There is more to this than him wanting to wait for marriage. If that was the case he would NEVER have had sex in the first place with you.
Guys who are bound by religious factors, or whatever the belief they have that it is wrong, don't dip in and out of this belief to suit. How long had you been dating, how often do you see each other, and WHAT are the changes since having sex with him, apart from him not wanting to any-more.
I'm afraid, I'm going to push the boundaries here - and say, is he dating someone else, had he already got a girlfriend you were NOT aware off - he gets a sudden attack of GUILT over sex with you, and backs right off.
The other fact here, as keen as you are on him, at 16-17 this guy is VERY unlikely to me your life-partner, so may be if he's made his mind up about sex, ONCE you cover ALL the other options which may prevent him from wanting to have a full relationship with you ( as above) and NONE apply, then you may have to think about moving on and dating someone who has the same idea about the level of which you commit to a relationship before marriage.
You are way too young though to be thinking about committing for life ( next 60-70 years) to someone you have only had sex with once, or hardly KNOW what they're like long-term.
Please try to talk to him...I think this is the only way forward.
Jilly
A
female
reader, cooListic kid  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 I think the question is why has he suddenly changed his mind, you've already had sex so he obviously didn't feel this way before. Have you even talked to him about it? Because that would be the first thing id do. If my boyfriend told me that, there would be a lot of self doubt on my behalf. After you had sex, has your relationship changed in anyway? become distant maybe? to me this just doesn't sound right, that he's changed his tune. If you wanna relationship with this guy you need to dig a little deeper then just the sex and i can defiantly relate the the wanting it all the time, but i would sit back and look at the situation and if you cant be in a relationship without the sex then you should really rethink about continuing your relationship with this guy. But if this is what he does really want then you do have to respect his wishes! and there's other things besides sex!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): You should just tell him thats on your mind, maybe he'll understand!
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A
female
reader, Llamainyourpants  +, writes (19 September 2010):
Umm maybe you should break up then ? if your not willing to wait and your trying to make him then ovviously you dont have a very god relationship . If you really love him youll wait and respect his wants and needs .
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