A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and I have been seperated for 9 years after being together for 2 years. We have a nine year old son together. The reason we split was because he was 19 and I was 22. He was immature and not ready to be a dad. My ex has a girlfriend who he has been with for 9 years and has 3 kids with her. In September of 2009 my ex and I started talking again. I informed him on how he son wanted to see him. My ex and I started talking about our past and things that we did. He explained to me that he still has feelings for me. That he misses holding and kissing me and that he wanted to have sex with me one last time w/o anyone finding out. I informed him at that point I would not have sex with him while still with his girlfriend. In July of 2010 we started talking again. He made it clear to me that he does not want to be tied down. Whatever that means? He also told me that he does not know if he is with his girlfriend because he loves her or because of the kids. My ex has told me that his girlfriend will not allow him to do anything with his son while I have him. Apparently she is very jealous of me. On July 14, 2010 my ex asked me to be friends but wanted fwb. So we have been fwb ever since July. My ex and I text each other on a daily basis. He has even sent me pictures of himself and wants to take pictures of me. He has told me that he no longer has pictures of his girlfriend. He explained to me that we need to keep our fwb a secret. He is afraid if his girlfriend finds out he will lose his job because her parents are high up in the company where he works for, he will lose his money, and kids. He wants to keep our fwb going until his girfriend starts snooping around or asking questions. He wants pictures of me to remember me by and to look at now and when we are no longer fwb. Is my ex confused? What does he want? What should I do.
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 You're like his mistress. He doesn't want a real relationship with you and is using you while ignoring the son you two have together. Don't continue like this with him. If he truly loved you, you would not be a fwb. You would be a girlfriend or more. You deserve so much better than that! Cause in this situation, he's making you more of a booty call than a friend. Part of you cares for him and trusts him still, that's why you're overlooking this. But, tell him that you can be a friend without the "benefit" of sexual favors.
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