A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI have this friend L, we to talk to each other/hang out with friends etc. Nothing ever happened as he has a gf and I have a bf and he was moving to another country. However, we were both unhappy with our relationships and we do talk to each other as friends.As he was leaving the country, we decided to meet up for lunch. It was the first one on one 'date' we had, and it was just simply amazing. It lasted 13hrs, then we met up the next day, and the day after where we kissed etc.It was Christmas, and we were supposed to meet that night but he started having excuses like he felt asleep after taking cold medicine etc. We were planning to go for a trip together...but it has been a week and he has not replied me even not wishing me a happy new year.I know most of you will think that he is looking for a fling before he leaves the country, and he got what he was asking for and now his girlfriend is back he doesn't bother with me anymore plus I asked for it.I never expected this to happen, but the chemistry was just out of this world and I can't stop thinking about him. To me, it means so much more than just a good date, it is not easy to find someone you have great chemistry with....but unfortunately timing and circumstances are not in our favour. And perhaps he just does not want further problems and thus he is avoiding me.However, I do feel that we could be very happy together and I want to at least try.....what should i do? He's not messaged me for a week, and neither have I. ....
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female
reader, Red591 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 men have an uncanny ability to have this amazing chemistry with women they don't want in the long run. It is now like us. Most women don't have a 13 hour date with a guy they are not into, nor do they meet with them again unless the guy has accepted friends only. He may be in love with love. Get away
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfyi we broke up with our respective ex-es......but i still think he's not that into me
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 January 2013):
 If you are unhappy in your current relationship, don't you think you should focus on either making it work or ending it, instead of starting a NEW relationship up?
I'm guess you haven't heard from him because he isn't so unhappy in HIS relationship, at least not so unhappy that he wants to end it to be with you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (31 December 2012):
 Being unhappy with your current relationship is NOT an excuse to cheat. If you're that unhappy, break up with your boyfriend. It's much easier than going out and cheating.
To you it may mean more, but to L it doesn't mean that much. Because he would have already dumped his girlfriend for you, not ignoring your existence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): I agree the chemistry was great but to me you should hate him. He is ignoring you and that's rude! You can do much better :)
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (31 December 2012):
 I think you may have answered your own question. He's leaving the country and probably doesn't want the hassle of an LDR - He also isn't ready to leave his girlfriend, and doesn't want to cheat on her - why would you want him to? If you're both carrying on relationships behind your partners backs, you'll never be able to trust each other - cheating sets a pattern.If you're not happy with your current boyfriend, end the relationship and move on - but don't set yourself up for heartache by chasing after someone who isn't available.If you and he are meant to be together, it will eventually work out, but not under these current circumstances.
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