A
female
age
41-50,
*angchen
writes:i had an affair with a married man but recently i refused to accept his calls and even i acted so rude to him cuz i want to get out of his life.But i know he loves me.Am i doing the right thing by ignoring him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Basically, yes.There can be no future in having an affair with a married man - his priority is (or should be) to his wife and children. You deprive yourself of the opportunity to meet a eligible man who can love you for who you are.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 It's the beginning of doing the right thing. You should tell him why you're doing what you're doing, so that he gets the point. You'll save tension later. When you said "an affair", I assumed you meant that you cheated, too. If that's the case, the next step is telling your partner and accepting the consequences.
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Of course, you are doing the right thing. Don't even have an inkling of doubt, here. He can love you or anyone all he wants but.the point is.. you had the strength and perseverence to end this affair and call it a day. I think you should be very proud of yourself.
The reality is..any married man can tell a woman they love them, hun but you have to understand something--love is action--not just words. We know that when a man 'loves' a woman, he'll move mountains to be by her side and he's want to build a life with only her. So assuming he has a wife and family at home..what has he done to prove he loves you, besides telling you these words? Has he made the move to divorce her and be with you? If he hasn't done this..then you can safely say 'he doesn't love you'...he's out and out, in your face, lying to you. And let's face it, married people who cheat on their families and spouses...are liars---plain and simple. So I know you feel 'he loves you'...but we know he doesn't. The trust isn't there, is it? How can you trust a man who has a history of infidelity with you? Don't think I have to say..if he does it to his wife, he will do it to you. Stay strong and steady here, girl...don't get suckered into what he's telling you. Let this one go
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Yes you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Yes love i think you are being incredibly strong, if he has had an affair with you whats to say if you two got together after a while he may do the same to you. He must at some point loved his wife if he still doesnt, You are young and you could be in a relationship with someone who really cares for you and you him without this hassle, My ex cheated on me i new something was wrong very early on in the end i had to be strong and get rid, i soon found out the pain was horrible, But i stuck to my guns and now im so very glad i did. Sweetheart think of his family and think how you would feel, by the sounds of your question you may have already done that. You are being very strong stay that way and i do hope things work out for you Take care
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (1 June 2007):
So you shared bodies, but don;t call that love,it's not LOVE. Love goes deeper than one-night-stands,as for rudeness, it is never called for. Hey! You gave your body freely. Why wouldn't he want more? Gee! I would, as would most other men.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Yes. You obviously know that having an affair is wrong but bravo you ended it! Change your numbers if he keeps trying to get hold of you. If this fails tell him you'll contact his wife but stay away, find someone who's available. Take care.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Truth is like the leaves on a tree, you know.
And the more you get, there is something left.
So are you doing the right thing here in whose opinion, huh?
Probably I should return this question to you for answering.
If not, YOU made a decision: "i want to get out of his life".
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