A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I am still upset, and grieving after a one week holiday romance that happened 6 weeks ago now.I don;t know what 's the matter with me, but I run it over and over in my head, and miss him so badly, night and day. I tried contacting him a few times on my return home and he asked me what date I was 'going back over' as we had planned to see each other again, but he has only ever responded to my initial contacts. I have had not contact with him now for nearly two weeks, but am still feeling a huge loss in my life, which is well out of proportion to what actually happened which was a lovely, one week affair. I go out, I see freinds, I have a nice job - but it still haunts me, and I cannot stop thinking about him. I cannot accept that fact that maybe it was all one sided, and I fell so intensely for someone who can never love me back.Has or is anyone else having this experience and can offer some advice on what to do? and how to get over it? I am wondering if I should contact him again in a month;s time if I still feel the same? and go back over there? thanks . xx
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (19 September 2009):
 Well perhaps it's his turn to travel out to see you.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 You were on a holiday but he lives there? Did you see where he lives? Just how much do you know about this guy?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): It all sounds suspicious to me. You were spot on when you questioned why he hasn't contacted you for so long, since he claims he feels so strongly about you. And now he is back to ignoring you again? Sounds like he is playing games.
This sounds an awful lot like a situation I was once in. This guy claimed to love me, but then he would disappear for months at a time with no contact. This went on for ages, before I realised he wouldn't change.
I don't know what exactly this guy is doing, but it just doesn't sound right to me. You must be feeling really confused right now. For him to suddenly declare that he loves you like that...it just doesn't sound sincere to me.
I'm sorry if that wasn't what you was hoping to hear. But this is just my opinion. Trust your instincts on this one. If it doesn't feel right...trust that feeling. Good luck. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello all,
I have an update - please let me know your thoughts.
I changed my mobile number on sunday evening, and sent a formal text to all my freinds informing them of my new number. I Included this guy. I got a text back from him the next evening saying ' Hi Baby, I can't tell you how much I have missed you' I Miss you so much. I am so glad I have your new number( not sure hw lost the old one) , and you areally are the best woman in my life, I must have more contact with you, there is no problem with that now. I love you.' So.. I was a bit surprised, and weary... I mena, I was supposed to be going out there any time now. So i texted back saying;' Hi, nice to hear from you. If I am the best woman in your life etc, why Haven;t I heard from you for 2 months? - I have had no reponse... what do you all think about this? Is he winding me up? is it genuine? or is he just being reactive?
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A
female
reader, Katy123456789Katy +, writes (28 August 2009):
I always seem to end up in the same position every year!
the best thing to do is forget about it.
you have only known him for a while and therefore you think hes perfect.
texting you or not, you can never be 100% sure that hes being honest, and lets face it he could be out doing the same thing he did to you as a nother girl.
i wouldnt advise going out to see him, but its up to you.
p,s - just to keep in mind, theres many storys about people who are married and still inlove after many years from a holiday romance!
good luck, im sure youl do the right thing!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2009):
 I'm guessing he isn't single, but behaved as such on the vacation. ( is he married by chance?)
I think (as much as it sucks) that you need to think of it as a one week fling nothing more.
No matter how long you wait he will not want to pick up where you two left off. He is done with it.
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A
female
reader, L*  +, writes (24 August 2009):
I went through a similar situation to yours...but mine was a bit more complicated ...I asked a question about it a few days ago, here's the link:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-know-how-to-stop-thinking.html
It's been more than a year of no contact and I still think about this guy. I've been out on other dates, I'm working, studying and trying to stay busy but he's still on my mind. I believe that it's only when I meet someone special that I'd be able to let go of the memories....In your case, 6 weeks is a short time and I think that when you meet someone you're really into you'd be able to feel less hurt....it's only when you can fill that 'empty' space with someone else that you can consider yourself fully healed. take care of yourself and Good luck.
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Here's what's wrong with you : you're human. Thats it. You're a tender, vulnerable human being who has feelings!! and thank God for that. You see, our culture has so trivalised sex and romantic relationships. People these days change partners like they change panties. The expectation is that you're just supposed to be able to shrug it off and move on... but that is a lie honey - and you're predicament proves it. In reality, when you share that kind of intimacy with some one.. for any amount of time, when you share your thoughts, feelings, and your body you then attatch yourself to the other person, alot like two pieces of cardboard being glued together. And when the other person is ripped away from you, its as if bits of you are still stuck to them and vice versa. I'd suggest you try get hold of a set of dvd's called "Love, sex and lasing relationships" by Chip Ingrim. When I look at the paradigm you've acted out of with regards to this situation, I think that you might think of it as a load of hog wash, but just give it a chance... maybe your heart is telling you something? And one more thing : you're hurt. And thats okay. It doesn't make you a weakling. Stop invalidating your own feelings... that won't help you to heal. Keep strong girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): I have never experienced this kind of situation. BUT, I think most people will be able to relate to falling for someone who doesn't seem to feel the same way back. So in that sense, yes, I have been there.
It does hurt. It is horrible. But you are not alone with this. I know it has been six weeks now. But really, when you think about it, six weeks isn't a very long time. You are doing all of the right things, seeing friends, carrying on, but it will still take a bit more time. I think you are also still hoping, deep down, that something will become of the two of you. While you still have that hope, it will be difficult to move on.
Also, when we are on holiday, things are different. You are away from your usual, everyday life, and it can make anything that happens seem all the more special and magical. When you return home, back to the reality of your life, it can be a haunting memory. I think this is natural, and fairly common.
From what you have said, he doesn't seem to be making much effort, so I would imagine he isn't very interested. I know that must be hard for you. But he probably didn't mean to hurt you. He may have just assumed it was a holiday romance, nice while it lasted, but nothing more.
However, if you do want to try contacting him in a months time, then there is nothing stopping you. But maybe you could also try asking him outright how he feels about the two of you, and if he is interested in having more of a relationship. If you don't ask, you won't know. But if he still seems to be the same, non-commital, then I think it would be best to just try and forget about him and move on. This will take time though. As for going back over there though, I would only consider that if he does seem interested. If he is still the same, then I honestly don't think it would be a good idea. It could just make things more painful for you.
It is your decision to make though, so do what you feel is right for you. Whatever you choose, good luck, and I wish you well with this. x
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 August 2009):
Just accept it for what it was. And yes, millions of people have had this experience. By now he is enjoying the company of someone else and no matter what line you were fed at the time he won't want to see you again. You put your age between 40 and 50. Surely I shouldn't have to explain this to you.
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