A
female
age
30-35,
*ver..worried.
writes:Mod Note: Poster's Original Title Guys: The first time you fell in love when did you realize it? Was it hard for you to tell her? For me it seems that girls can realize it and decided when they are in love with some one easier then a guy can. My boy friend, has never been in love and as far as I know still isn't, he said that it's not that he doesn't want to, but just he's not ready. What goes through a guys head when it comes to love?
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female
reader, Over..worried. +, writes (30 July 2010):
Over..worried. is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank-you all of you.
And ohh I know girls can it just, seems more guys don't want to. And yea, he doesn't believe just like me that after two days you should be saiyng I love you. Or those teens that say i love you every 3 secs on facebook. Just ... we've been dating for 6 months and sometimes it feels like he does but that he's scared to open up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): Everyone's different. So saying women feel love sooner than men isn't true, because some men can feel it sooner than women, it's different for everyone. It's like some men have more of a feminine side than some women! So yeah, everyone's different.
My boyfriend knew he loved me before I did. But, he was older than me. Also, I'd never been in love before/never even believed in it and as I was young and clueless to the whole thing, I never knew what love was. But believe me, when you love somebody, you WILL know. There's no 'I don't know if I do' as when someone say's that, they don't properly. But real love, you'll just know it. It's also something you will not expect.
It's not that your boyfriend doesn't like you enough to not love you. Seems to me he refuses to, as a lot of boys your age will. Maybe he feels he 'shouldn't' love somebody at his age, it's not the cool thing to do, etc, etc.
Honestly, give it time and you will both 100% know when you love one another.
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A
male
reader, werther  +, writes (29 July 2010):
hi
i said i was in love with all my girl friends and also the woman i married and who had my child, then i meet another and really fell in love....
this happend when i was 30 and i can say that i never had this strong feeling for anyone before.
so did i lie to my other girlfriends...? no i just really liked them and enjoyed what we did and was attracted sexually and so on, how to express this ? one way is to use those words i love you.....
but when that big feeling really gets you, then it gets you.
some of my gay friends say the same thing, you cant help who you fall in love with.... it happens and it´s great, enjoy it.
but it didn´t really happen to me until late.....
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A
male
reader, Lookingforwisdom  +, writes (29 July 2010):
Your boyfriend sounds a little bit like me. I have always had this attitude to saying 'I love you' where I think it is an overused term that is so often said and not meant. I refused to say it to any girl until I was 20 and started going out with my current girlfriend. About 3 weeks into my current relationship my girlfriend mustered it up to tell me she loved me, and all I could say was thanks. It sounds bad but at the time I still wasn't at a stage where I even knew what love was, until about a month later I really started thinking that I couldn't be without this girl. It wasn't just attraction, it was dependence. I remember pondering for a while whether I was in love or not, even having a chat with a few of my wiser friends, before I decided I was gonna take that first big step and tell my girlfriend I loved her. The fact your boyfriend has never loved someone (and presumably has never said it either) might end up being a good thing if and when he gets around to convincing himself he loves you. My girlfriend said it was agony waiting for me to say it and indeed wondering if I would, but when I eventually did she knew I meant it, and that made me saying it all the more valuable. If your boyfriend says it to you you will know for sure he means it and this should stop any feelings of paranoia.
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