A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do guys get put off by really quiet shy girls? I'm very quiet and shy (maybe a little bit uptight as well) but I'm not moody or anything just haven't got much confidence in myself etc and guys only seem to chat to me / hit on me when they're drunk. I get the feeling sometimes some men feel a bit uncomfortable around me because I am so quiet etc but I can't change, I've always been like this!? The thing is I'm single and so desperate to meet someone but don't feel like I ever will as I seem to scare guys off!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): they probally think as your quite your not interested and when they are drunk they dont think 2 much so thats why they hit on u for your looks not the way your acting
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I know how that feels. I was once in that position, but now I feel like I need a stick to keep them away. lol. Here's my secret: find something you like doing. Sign up for art classes if you love art. Take voice lessons if you want to learn how to sing. Volunteer at a hospital if you like helping people. Go to movies on weekends with friends. Simple little things like that. Keeping yourself busy will take your mind of the boyfriend issue and you'll be more focused on yourself, your interests and what you need. Once you establish that, you'll have em coming in by the truck loads because you'll be more focused on your own needs and men find that very alluring. Also, have more confidence in yourself. Keep reminding yourself how awesome you are. Confidence is the key to everything and when you don't have it, guys can sense that and are a little taken aback by it. Not to mention, some guys (the ones that you don't want to meet) will see that and use it to there advantage. Don't be so desperate. I've been there and done that and when you are like that, you will settle for anything, even if it is less than what you deserve, just to be in a relationship, and all the wrong guys will hit on you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): In one word no. I like really quiet shy women. I wish there were more of them around
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A
male
reader, Stanley Cup  +, writes (26 July 2007):
Have you consicered that maybe these guys need a little bit of "liquid courage" to work up the nerve to approach you? That's the way it sounds to me, which must mean that you're quite a catch.
I can relate to your shyness. I suggest that you talk to the guy about the type of music/bands that you like, good movie/TV program that you've seen recently, or if you know anything about sports, ask him about that. If he is a sports fan, maybe he'll start a long monologue about that, and all you'll have to do is listen.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 There is nothing wrong with being shy, or quiet and reserved. Infact alot of guys would prefer this to a loud party girl type.
If men are only hitting on you when they are drunk then why don't you try to meet guy's in places where alcohol is not involed, like an evening class, work, the gym ect.
Don't be desperate to meet someone, guys can sense this and can be a turn off. Relax, enjoy life, go out and have fun, and i bet you met someone when you least expect it.
All the best x
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A
female
reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Lack of confidence or self-esteem is usually due to bad experiences in the past. To get more confident try looking at yourself in the mirror and saying things like "I am pretty" or "I am good at....." anyting that you believe to be true. The more you do this, the more confident you will get.
Gentle exercise also helps as it makes your body feel good, and so you will feel good mentally aswel.
Don't try to be something you're not. Most guys like a girl who is sometimes shy as it doesn't intimidate him. But you lso need to be able to stnd up for yourself because guys like this too.
I hope this helps :-)
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