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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have a problem. I was going out with a guy (A), he cheated on me and me on him and i was going to finish it as i thought he'd never want to marry me. I met a guy off the internet (B), it was meant to be just for sex but we clicked instantly, the sex was magnificent and we started seeing each other. I finished guy A and started spending all my time with him and him with my friends who are also friends with guy A as we were friends with all of them before we got together. Guy A lived 200 miles away at this point.I told my dad and best friend i was gonna marry guy B within a month of meeting him and he felt exactly the same. Then guy A started texting, calling and mailing all the time saying he loved me, had made a mistake and wanted to marry me and give me the wonderful life (which he can, although it wouldnt be a bad lifestyle with guy B too).This carried on for 6 months while me and guy B were going out but i got worn down and called it off with both of them. I still think about guy B 24*7 but guy A is always in my friends life now and therefore mine as he has moved back to my town and guy A lives 30 miles away. Its been 2 months since i cut them both out but i am in email touch with guy B every day and see him most weekends, we sleep together, it feels so good to be held by him, have a magnificent time going out and i am happy. We tell each other we love each other and mean it.I suppose i am asking how do i get guy A out of my head and life without hurting him, he will always be there at do's with my friends, causing them to choose between me and him. I dont want to hurt anybody my friends, either guy or anyoe but i am permanently depressed and could do with any advice.
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (2 February 2006):
 Sorry to say this, but I really don't see anyway that you can get out of this with out anyone getting hurt. If you want to be with guy "B", then do so and be as honest as possible with guy "A" about it since you will have to see him a lot because of your friends. I doubt that you will be able to stop thinking about him, until you feel like you have resolved the situation so just really make it clear that you don't think you work as a couple but would like to remain friends. If his texting you is a problem then ask guy "A" to stop texting you. Break ups are always very hard on everyone involved, it is best to make clear statements about your intentions and then follow through with them, that way no one is left feeling like there may still be a chance for the relationship or anything like that. Good luck.
A
female
reader, charlie432 +, writes (2 February 2006):
I think this is one of those situations where you have to please your self, and be selfish. if you truly are in love with guy "B" then go for it, true happiness doesn't come around every day. If you and guy "A" finished, it was obviously for a reason, which is what you need to focus on. You may hurt his feelings, but if he's only coming back and telling you he loves you know, is this because he's had his fun elsewhere and wants to be back in a relationship? It is still possible to be friends with your ex, me and mine were together for 2 years and were engaged, and we have managed to stay friends, we still argue occassionally, and we still get jealous of each other when we are out with out new partners, but if you try hard enough it is possible. at the end of the day you can't please everyone, and if you can't please everyone, please yourself! hope all goes well! Charlie x
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