A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:He tells me he loves me and wants us to be together even if he has to wait forever since his family won't allow us to be together. He doesn't want to risk loosing them and wants me to wait for them to accept us. He is 23 and still listens to his parents. Since he lives with them he says he has to obey them. Isn't it children that need to obey there parents? Is it right for them to choose who he can be with? They think he will end up hated by my kids so they want him to stay away from us. My kids already love him and I havn't let them spend much time together. We work together and see each other there almost everyday. He says he is happy with what ever he gets and wants us to try deal with it together. But we can't be together so it is hard. Will he grow up or stay a daddys boy forever? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 When you are a child , you talk like a child.
When you are an adult ,you talk like an adult.
He is talking like a child and he will never grow up and he will always be mommy's pet.
If a man loves you , he will put you first and his family second. Don't listen to all those sweet talks, they are just meaningless words .His life is not his own but belongs to his parents.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 He is only 23, and you have multiple kids? I suspect this is what his parents find worrying. They probably do not want him to get cosy with you, as they do not want to inherit someone elses grandchildren. I suspect they see you as a gold-digger, who is out to capture a man who will look after you and your children. They are going to fight him every way over that.
From someone who has a domineering parent, it can be very difficult to break away from them, as they are always looking out for you to have the best things in life. They have probably got an image of what his life will be like in their heads, and sadly, you may not fit the image of perfect girlfriend material. I am not saying this to be mean, because I know that I have had my own battles with my mother about what constitues a "suitable" boyfriend, and sometimes, you cant win. That may make me weak, but I dont like conflict, and I will always back down.bbbb
He is still very young, he is 23! A lot of guys are still in teenager mode at this age. Most 23 year olds are out dating without the responsibility of creating a ready made family. Also the fact he lives at home, does mean, he still has to respect his parents wishes, whether you or he like it or not. If he doesnt want to live by their rules, then he could easily move out.
I live at home because of financial issues, I am 26, and even tho I am an adult, I realise that it is my mothers house and there are some rules that I have to obey. Things I may do differently if I was on my own, but also, if she was living with me, I would expect my Mum to respect my house rules too. Its called give and take.
If he really wanted to get away from the rules, he could easily move out and do his own thing. The fact he chooses not to, suggests that he may also not be totally comfortable with your relationship and maybe using the parents as an excuse. I would be wary about letting your kids get too attached to such a young man, because if he suddenly gets cold feet and runs away, they are going to be left bewildered and hurt.
Good Luck
Tiger
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the feedback. I was afraid that is what I was going to hear. He just doesn't want to grow up. He can't stand up to them. He thinks it will be a sin against god. But he isn't a child anymore and he doesn't relise that.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Yes he will be a Daddy's boy forever.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 April 2010):
It's not going to happen. Unless he stands up to them, you'll be waiting forever. He won't be growing up any time soon, so it's time to move on now before you get hurt and realize you've wasted so much time. He should be able to stand up to them about anyone he likes.
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