A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Got this from my ex today. What does it mean?"I think I know what my tension is with you sometimes like when we talk on IM. I think it’s because we go so much longer now without quality time that I forget what you’re like when you are just here and wanting to be with me. I get aggravated by the constant joking and sometimes teaching because I can’t see your expression to know when you’re being sincere. I just came to that realization walking my dog.I think it's something I will just have to get used to or fed up with."
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, this question is getting more action than me lately...OK, bad joke.
We met last night at her place and watched her favorite TV show. Basically, we both really miss seeing each other and interacting outside of IM. But, like I said, she's in another relationship and finds it hard to admit that she misses my company since she feels like she shouldn't. I guess that's a whole different issue, though.
Thank you all for your assistance.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (3 December 2008):
 Oh! silly me. It did sound like it would be a man to say that though.
Well I hope you sorted things out, maybe you do need to think a bit about spending more quility time with her as she say's.
Good luck in the future, and again sorry I got the post wrong XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe told me today that she indeed meant that she misses me and that it's hard to admit those feelings and have those feelings because she is in another relationship. I also miss her company. We are going to see each other tonight, at any rate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): I take it as you too need to spend more time with each other
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A
female
reader, uhohlala +, writes (2 December 2008):
You might be right that she's hinting a bit that a little more face-time might make the online interaction less awkward/prone to misinterpretation. As far as that goes, if you think you'd like to spend a bit more face-time with your ex, ask her if she wants to hang out sometime -- get a coffee, a drink, whatever. Friendships do need to be nurtured.Face-time aside, a friendship with an ex (especially a recent ex) can be a tricky thing, so you probably ought to be a bit more careful about what you're communicating via IM, etc. Without the additional cues provided by facial expressions and tone of voice, teasing can easily be mistaken for nastiness, and helpful suggestions could come across as condescension. Try to be a bit more thoughtful and mindful, not to the point where you're being stiff and unnatural -- just bear in mind that when it's not clear between two people that there is nothing but goodwill on both sides (and no hidden agendas), the likelihood of crossed wires and misunderstandings is high.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst off guys, SHE is my ex. Don't know where the HE came from.
Second, I've spent time thinking about this and I'm reading into it that she misses me because we don't see each other much anymore and our only contact is through IM. Any thoughts?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): If he's your EX boyfriend, what on earth are you worried about what he means by that message?
The whole point of splitting up is that you continue on with your lives, separately.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (2 December 2008):
I think I would be tempted to send back
"Dont bother trying to understand me", if its that much effort. And as you are an ex you dont have to worry about my expression or if its sincere. I came to this realization after recieving your text. I feel you would be much better off talking to your dog, as you would be on the same mental level.
Or you could just ak him what on earth he means, but reading your post he sounds like "A right plonker" as we say in london.
Good luck babes, you sound to good for him. XXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): Huh? I myself had to read this over and over again lol. Do you two see each other often since you talk on IM? Sounds basically like whats he said. For some reason she does not like it when you joke around etc. because she can't see your expressions on your face and that bothers her. Either don't do the jokes and the teaching on IM or you two need to see each other more? I think we may need more info on this relationship.
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