A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This has built up over the years. I am not the confident person I want to become and deserve to be; this has involved caring too much about what people think, not believing in my ability to achieve things at times, letting some things and some people get me down too easily, comparing myself to others and their lives and just worrying about/overthinking things I shouldnt etc. I have always been a follower, doing what other people want to do, but I know that I can be a leader, the one that people want to follow, the one who exudes that confidence that others can look up to. I recently put myself so far out of my comfort zone by travelling overseas by myself for a period of time, which can be a daunting prospect for most people, but, although being hard and feeling lonely at times, I felt it was one of the best things I could do. I felt so empowered by the fact that I was able to travel on the other side of the world, so far from the comforts of home. I met lots of people, did lots of things and learnt lots about myself.But as soon as I got home, I fell straight back into my comfort zone and that same negative mindset. It's a little confusing with what I want to do: I feel that I am trying to hard with pretty much my whole peer group to be the nice person that I am in order to become a more confident me, but then I feel like I am not getting that affirmation that I need, particularly with girls + getting the treatment I deserve back - my confidence taking a bit of a hit as a result. However I know that if I don't put all that I can into this, then I won't get where I want to be. I have an amazing family and without them, I would be in a pretty shocking place. But they are not always the right people to talk to; I just dont seem to have a good enough relationship with any of my friends fo talk about + do something about this and I want to be confident knowing that I am able to confide in such people and to be able to just be the best I can be.. Any pointers on how I could go about approaching this would be very much appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2013): Your post is very articulate and you seem to be very intelligent. Have you attended a university to pursue a career? You should be seeking higher education. It will open doors and give you confidence by giving you a challenge. You could enroll in an exchange student program.
As a young man, you'll put a lot into worrying about what the ladies think. If you haven't had much success there, it may be because they can't figure what direction your life is going. You're old enough to decide what you want to do with your life, and traveling expanded your pioneering spirit.
If you don't pursue an education now, you will continue to put it off; and you'll let time and opportunity pass you buy. Teens turn to twenties, twenties to thirties, and you'll be surprised how time flies.
Don't end-up married, with a family, struggling to survive; because you let your youthful years roll by while you're idle and undecided. You should be concentrating on your future, not just worrying about your social life.
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