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age
30-35,
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writes: To give you a bit of a brief of the situation, im going through a self esteem crisis.Now, where to start...I'm fat, ugly and a real geek. My best friend of around 8 years has disappeared since I moved house. I feel empty, and as if i can trust no one in the world. im 13 so in year 9. one of my friends at school who i thought i could trust told the world my secret...okay so it was one of those pathetic 'who do fancy' crap. i told him who it was (this was yesterday) and he promised he wouldnt say aything. i expected he would have forgotten about it by the next day but OH NO! Within precisley half an hour, half the year knew, but why am i making such a fuss about a stupid teenager truth or dare? well it was what she said on the bus home. my friend, the girl i fancy and her friend all get on the same bus as me, they didn't even know i was the bus when 'the girl' said this but i was there... she said:'i wouldnt go out with him in a million years. hes fat, and such a geek! god! the only way i would go out with him is if someone LOT worse asked me out, which would be hard by the way.'this wasnt just any girl either, she had been a half friend to me for three years. i pratically had a mental breakdown when i got back, and for the first time in 2 years i satrted crying... SELF ESTEEM CRISIS!!!help,mark
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone ive had some great advise
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): please please dont look at yourself in that way. Im aure there are plenty of positive aspects of your personality. I remember being 13 (Im 18 now) and I felt at the time that my "friends" were turning against me. It was only much later that I realised that they were not my friends, and it took me a good while to find real friends but it was worth it. Regarding your weight, you will definitely get taller so you will become slimmer without dieting. Im sure that you're not ugly,I also believed that when I was younger. I would advise you to take up a new hobby in order to meet new people &forget about these losers. I took up karate when I was your age &Im now a black belt. I wish you the best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): Hey there mate, I see where ur coming from I am ur age and in yr 9 I am not fat as such but I am very geeky like as I have had to teach my I.T teachers. I think you got to get over this girl, go to her and tell her you heard her and tht it hurt you she shud understand if not then she has no heart and leave her.
Good luck! And I would lve to talk send me a private massage =)
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (12 October 2007):
Consider this a wake up call. Fat people always get the short straw. Last picked for everything. There are a few lights out there but they are few and far between. You need to search them out. Another choice is talk to you parents about getting diet and exercise help. Keeping a diary and expecting to stick to the plan for at least a year is necessary.
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male
reader, gogland  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Look kid, you're in the midst of learning a harsh lesson about life. People aren't going to like you. People you think are friends are not going to like you, and sometimes the girl you like doesn't like you at all.
Now it's perfectly fine to sit there, have people send you little wads of pity and sympathy. Boost yourself up a little bit and MAYBE you'll feel a bit better about yourself...
However you know, AND I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE, that this kind of behaviour will NEVER EVER actually get you what you want.
Here's a question you're really going to have to ask yourself. Did you want the girl, or did you just want to feel like someone would accept and love you?
It's PERFECTLY fine for you to like a girl. It's something you shouldn't be embarrassed about. In fact by you being shy and embarrassed about it, you didn't own up to your own emotions about actually LIKING this girl. How is a girl supposed to feel when she hears that you like her, but you're sitting there being scared and not owning up to shit. She has her reputation to think about, and if she's with a guy who's unwilling to admit how he feels, then people will look down on HER because of it. You should've went right up to that girl and told her that you liked her instead of letting half the school know about it.
Now let's get down to what it really is. You want someone to love and accept you. Except it is completely clear that you do not love OR accept yourself! Do you know why this is? IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LIVING THE WAY YOU WANT. You are living your life in a way that does not do you justice, and this is why you have no self-esteem! Deep down, you know there's a way that you'd rather be living, and it's about time you figure out what that something is and start taking steps to start living that way.
If you don't you're always going to be the person that gets made fun of and never gets the girl he wants.
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female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (12 October 2007):
 it should not matter how you look honey in order for other people you have to love yourself first i know this may sound heard believe me when i was your age i was the same i believe no one would ever love me and i was doomed for a life of great attainment and no social life but my life took a turn for the best i got a boyfriend he reassured me i was an amazing person and that i had everything to be happy about someone believed in me but first i had to believe in myself and what relevance does this have to you?well sweety althought you feel as though the world is crashing down on you becuase you feel the most ugliest person out there remember you are not alone there are others out there who feel the same but they just cover it up with faked confidence you dont have to be confident to look confident if you are not happy with the way you look your the only one who can change yourself you know what they say the world is your oyster and as life moves on crises like these a self esteem issue become smaller and not as problematic your guy friend doesnt sound that great a mate and it may be said that you should be more careful with where you place your judgement there are people out there who we can depend on people who are worth our love and to return our love as a society and as people we simply have to open our eyes to the real people the gems that are going to make us happier with ourselves because in effect your are friends with a person becuase you admire something in them but you have to admire yourself too!remeber that everyone is different and beautiful you should learn how to magnify your beauty whatever that might be rememeber your also at an age when your hormones are going crazy your going to be feeling sad and happy all at the same time and that can seem kinda scary sometimes it doesnt help along other teen problems but it gets easier i promise in regards to this girl she is not worth your time and people will say things to upset you and deliberately hurt you hey im in sixthform and i still get gossip spread on me , bad words but honey sticks and stones you know words are just words not weapons unless you let them to be take control of how you feel and how you let others percieve you believe in yourself and in others there are good people out there hope this helps darlin rose x
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